Survivor: Cagayan Episode 1 - Part 2

Hot Girl With a Grudge

By Jim Van Nest, Survivor Analyst

March 1, 2014

Poker players everywhere are embarrassed by you.

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So in 27 seasons of this show (plus two hours of season 28), I don't know that I've ever seen a worse played game of Survivor ever. And in all phases of the game.

1) Outplay - That was the worst challenge performance by a single person ever. No one has ever had a lead that a three team challenge where all you have to do is not be third. Congratulations, J' are the worst challenge performer in the history of Survivor.

2) Outlast - Sure, why not throw out the rice on Day 5. That's a great idea. What if you stay around? You realize that you now have nothing to eat. And how can you be surprised that they want you voted out when all you've done is wasted an entire day telling everyone how to build a shelter that fell apart as soon as a 110 pound person sat on it? Then you took an absolutely insurmountable lead in a challenge and coughed it up to two teams. And you're shocked they want to vote you out???

3) Outwit - This is why no one ever tells the person they're going home. Horrible, horrible game play from someone who supposedly makes his living reading people. But that's not even the worst strategy Garrett displayed tonight. He then outlines an alliance at Tribal, showing exactly who's excluded and who's not...and (oh by the way) didn't make sure it was secure, because he didn't want outside conversations. But that wasn't even the worst strategy in the episode. When someone pours out the food, they're gone. Period, end of discussion. Whoever was at the top of the list gets bumped to #2. That is an unforgivable sin in this game. You have no food now and you've left someone who is clearly not stable in the game to wreak more havoc on your tribe. AND...SHE. HAD. THE. WORST. CHALLENGE. EVER!!!!


The final ice cube in this cocktail of ineptitude came at Tribal Council when Garrett managed to get himself voted out by simply continuing to talk. Had it been me, Tribal would have been this simple, "Jeff, I appreciate you have a job to do, but bitch threw out our food, there's nothing to talk about here. Let's vote." My answer to every single question would have been, "She threw out our food."

"So, Garrett, how's camp life been?"

"She threw out our food."

"Garrett, tough loss in the challenge, eh?"

"She threw out our food."

No one should ever do what J'Tia did and be allowed to stay in the game. She's just lucky that she is on what may turn out to be the worst tribe Survivor's ever seen and yes, that includes the men of One World who gave up immunity so they could vote someone out.

Ok, now that I have that off my chest...let's get to the Previews for next week. Tony decides to tell Sarah that he really is a cop. She doesn't seem to take it well. And Mother Nature makes her presence felt. Until next week, take care.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6



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