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“I don’t care about winning challenges, I’d voluntarily go to Tribal Council”, whines Colton, which won’t win him any friends. Gervase: “No one needs to talk strategy again until we lose out first challenge, then we can talk after that”. Aras gives Colton a death stare, and interviews that “you can only fake who you are for four days, five days, and then the elements get to you, and your true personality emerges.”

Back with the group, Colton says “I just want to talk to people,” and Tina replies that she would like to talk about anything except Survivor. Not good enough for Colton. “Strategy? What is strategy? We are unity, we are peace, we are zen... we are stupid,” he complains in interview, not realizing that peace at this point is their strategy.

It’s no surprise that I disagree with Colton, but I disagree with Colton. The early part of the game is all about beating the other tribe. Colton’s best strategy is to keep his tribe winning challenges and hold on until the merge. Then when the individual game starts, he can play the chaotic “she said that he said you are a loser” whispering game as much as he likes. Playing that game now, with players who aren’t actually stupid but in fact smarter players than Colton has played with before, means that he gets shut out and is stupid.

Over on Tadhana, Brad is out fishing and talking about being a provider. He has a spear and flippers and everything. What the hell is this? The tribes have fishing gear already? This wangs chung. Rachel says that there is a lot going on at camp, and she thinks she is more at risk than Tyson at the moment. She has finally realized that the women on her tribe are in a minority, so she is trying to play cool with the guys. I suppose competing on Survivor with your boyfriend really cuts down on your ability to flirt your way through the game. But she seems to get on well with John.

Ciera, who has also cottoned onto the “guys rule chicks drool” atmosphere, sees where Rachel is going with this, and interviews that she is “75% confident that John and Rachel have an alliance." She tells Katie of her suspicions. But there’s treemail and everyone has to go to Redemption Island. That’s right, everyone! But not before John gives yet another interview about “wrestling with guilt” and “the weight that is crushing my heart.”

Probst sighting! “Come on in guys!” says Probst. A bunch of castaways are blubbing at the sight of their safe loved ones already. I have a crisp $20 that says they are totally planning another Blood vs. Water season already. Even Gervase is teary at the sight of his voted-out niece. “I’m cool,” he says.

Probst points out the “big, long stare” that Marissa gave her tribe, and she explains how Gervase’s celebration “rubbed salt in their open wound.” Gervase promises he’ll rub some more, but when given the opportunity to swap places with Marissa he says “handle your biz.” If Marissa gets off Redemption Island, I wonder if she’s going to ally with Gervase? Maybe before she betrays him.

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