Survivor: Blood vs. Water - Episode 1

Blood is Thicker than Anything

By Ben Willoughby

September 19, 2013

Dud, dud, dud, dud, dud, dud, dud...

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Brad approaches Hayden, then Caleb with the same plan. “I think it’s genius” says straight-faced Caleb, who then interviews about Brad’s bromance-heavy approach. Caleb and Brad do a “Southern shake” on it. Vytas is “down for whatever, man,” as Brad explains how Cochrans are the threat, the weaker men, the women.

Now it’s up to Brad to explain his plan to the camera. He uses his fingers. “Four (holding up four fingers) with nine (four fingers and a hand) equals out!” But then he forgets his line or how many fingers he is holding up and has to start again. Oh well, no one said defensive tackles had to be smart. “Four with nine equals out. Five with nine equals in.” If you can’t get that right, you may want to reconsider positioning yourself as the tribe mastermind.

Later that day with Tadhana, they have no fire and can’t boil water so Brad, Ciera and Vytas get to talking. Ciera talks about her husband and her two children, and when Vytas asks if her husband is the baby daddy of them both, she reveals her sordid 16-and-pregnant past and how she tried to hide it from Laura? and got found out and it made Laura? cry. “Good thing you didn’t get married,” says Vytas referring to the high school boyfriend. “Dude, tell me about it,” Ciera has a great “bullet dodged” face. All this reminds me of the one thing I know about Ciera’s mother Laura? – she’s a big Sarah Palin fan.

Vytas changes the subject “I was in jail with a guy who was one of the top 10 dead-beat dads in the country”. He talks about how he was a junkie as a teenager, in jail at 19, living on the street. This probably makes Ciera feel better about not being that big a teenage disappointment to her mother. Vytas talks about how Aras was the golden child in his family, while at Vytas’ lowest he had overdosed a couple of times before getting arrested while robbing an old lady at an ATM. Brad is amazingly accepting of this, saying “you were just a baby.”


Vytas interviews how he is confident that people won’t see him as “an ex-con” or “a dope fiend” and that showing his vulnerability will help him strengthen bonds and get further in the game.

Over at Galang, everyone is around the campfire and Colton is on a high. “This tribe is so fun,” he declares. “Everyone keeps my mind off the game.” He interviews about how he was rude to everyone last season because he was insecure. With his tribe he says, “where I am from, I live with nine million people in my state that have the same beliefs. What I don’t have is people willing to listen.”

Colton claims to have been the sweetest baby growing up, and explains that somewhere along the way he got tired of all the homophobic slurs, as you do. As he tells his story of how his family didn’t accept him, and how some still don’t realize that it’s okay to still love him. Then he starts crying with these weird yelping sobs. The women nearest him hug him, while Tyson has this great “what the hell?” expression. I don’t doubt any of this, but at the same time don’t complain about being bullied if you’re a bully.

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