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For “Sidewalk,” the challenge is based on a two-mile long black and white Portuguese pavement promenade. Teams will have to solve a slide puzzle based on the promenade’s design. This seems like it might be the easier task, but since the design is black and white, it might be tougher than it appears.

#ChacAttack chooses “Sidewalk,” noting as they head to the task that #TeamAlabama is right behind them. The mother and son team chooses “Sidewalk” as well. Apparently, whether the teams choose “Sidewalk” or “Sand,” they have to perform the challenge in a bikini or short swim trunks (though mercifully not a banana hammock). Cindy & Rick look right at home in their swimwear, but Denise & James Earl seem somewhat less comfortable.

The meatheads (Tanner & Josh) choose to show their athletic prowess by going with “Sand.” They figure it should be easy to get six points before their opponent reaches 18. Is it wrong for us to hope they’re humiliated? Well, let’s just say that it’s not long before they see why they were given an advantage. The pro “footvolleyers” are tough. Jazmine & Danielle discover this pretty quickly as well.

Eventually, Tanner & Josh are able to beat their pros and are the first team to move on from the Detour. Their clue directs them to Arpoador Lookout, which is the location of the first leg’s Pit Stop! We should probably note that we’re only 28 minutes into the episode, so this is a fairly shocking development.

The guys ask for directions to the Pit Stop location, and learn that they can get there on foot. This is significant, because Jazmine & Danielle get their six points right away and choose to take a cab to their destination.

As speculated, the puzzle is indeed proving difficult, but Denise & James Earl are able to power through. Meanwhile, Cindy & Rick bicker as they struggle to make the pieces fit properly. Like Tanner & Josh, #TeamAlabama decides to hoof it to the Pit Stop. Or James Earl decides to, anyway. Denise whines pitifully about it.

Justin & Diana finally arrive at the helicopter, and they realize that they are solidly in last place. Justin is still in tears, but Diana seems to be appreciating the gorgeous view.

In the end, the meatheads win first place and the Express Pass. Maybe we shouldn’t call them meatheads, huh? This Express Pass lets them skip any pass they don’t want to do – but they must use it by the fifth leg. At that point, they must hand it over to another team, who will be required to use it in the following leg.

That means Jazmine & Danielle finish in second, and they are ridiculously excited about this pronouncement.

#TeamTMZ receives their comeuppance when they hit the footvolley court. They’re uncoordinated, clumsy and can barely stay on their feet. Needless to say, they pretty quickly decide that they’d better move over to the “Sidewalk” challenge instead.

Speaking of the “Sidewalk” challenge, #ChacAttack has finally finished their puzzle and they’re ready to move on to the Pit Stop. It’s probably a bad sign for #TeamTMZ that they have goofy music to accompany them while they solve the slider. If they weren’t heinous, we’d feel bad for them, but… we don’t. Not at all.

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