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Survivor San Juan Del Sur Recap
Episode 3

Actions vs. Accusations

By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis

October 13, 2014

His Survivor playing is bad and he should feel bad.

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It's another briskly moving episode, which means that it's time for more Probst. Two people from each tribe will be tethered together. They have to navigate an obstacle course to retrieve a ball, which they will then try to throw into a basket. First team to get the basket wins the point for their team. Three points wins the challenge. Early on, Josh and Baylor are taking on Jon and Natalie. It's a close round (with Rocker telling his team "run them over"), but Jon scores the basket for his team.

When Wes and Alec take the course against Julie and Missy. Alec hip checks Julie into one of the wooden stakes. The women are far slower on this leg and it's an easy score for Wes and Alec. We're all tied up.

Next up are Drew and Reed versus Rocker and Jaclyn. Rocker immediately goes after Reed, and the Hunahpu tribe is pretty annoyed with his sportsmanship at this point. (Probst, on the other hand, loves it. His dimples are practically gleaming.) Rocker wins the round with a nice left-handed shooting touch and then claps loudly for himself and gestures rudely at his opponents (including his girlfriend). We haven't Googled around for this, but we don't think that John Rocker won any citizenship awards during his time in Major League Baseball. It's 2-1 Koyopa.

Josh and Baylor are back in against Jeremy and Kelley. Both teams absolutely fly through the course, but Baylor can't hit the shot. Jeremy sinks it (despite Rocker saying "Noonan, Noonan") and we're all tied up.




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We're up to the final match, and it's Alec and Wes versus Jon and Natalie. Wes tries to mix it up with Natalie, but they both wind up shooting their balls at the same time. Both miss, and have to retrieve their balls (huh huh, huh huh). Jon, who is proving to be quite the challenge stud, sinks the next shot and wins immunity for Hunahpu yet again.

Oddly, that is not the most contested moment of the Immunity Challenge. For whatever reason, the remaining loathsome twin (Natalie) chooses this moment to get lippy. We presume that this is because she believes that John Rocker orchestrated her twin's elimination, when in reality it was her twin's personality that orchestrated the ouster. Natalie says, "Change it up. You guys are getting rid of all the strongest people. Change it up."

Let's fact check that statement. Nadiya was a unanimous choice because she added nothing in challenges and her teammates couldn't stand to breathe the same air as her. Val claimed to have two idols knowing someone else had one, when the theoretical maximum number of idols in existence at that moment was two. She was also point blank told that she needed to play an idol to avoid elimination, and rather than come clean, she continued to bluff with a losing hand. What does it say about Natalie if she considers players like that to be her strongest opponents?

Because she so loves the sound of her own voice, she adds that Koyopa is following a racist. Rocker tells her to shut up, while we debate whose side to take here. The optimal solution would be the mute button. By now, Probst is sporting so much Survivor wood that he needs to put a textbook over his crotch. He gleefully asks why there's so much hate against John Rocker. This is the moment he's been fantasizing about since the casting department said, "Hey what if we..."


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