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The unhappy campers all arrive back and talk about how brutal and heart-wrenching it was to vote out their biggest competition. Denise says out loud that she plans to play up the “outwit part” and Michael bitterly talks about the “vote of confidence that Denise got from Malcolm, “as though it will be a runaway.” First Probst, now Michael... Malcolm is breaking hearts all over the place. He goes on about how “it’s weird that you backstab your alliance from Day 1 and he’s still voting for you.” Denise says she’s not banking on it. Anyway, Michael claims he will have a lot to say tomorrow. Can’t wait!

The next morning, they decide to take a hike up the cliff to talk about what a great experience this was. Michael says “this is 39 days of adventure that you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.” I think I might forget the "boring, sitting around camp listening to people you don’t like" parts.

When they get to the tree-mail, they find baskets of food for the now-traditional Survivor final three mimosa brunch. Michael is in charge of the frying, and even today every time he is near a campfire he has to remember not to fall in.

Over brunch, Lisa and Michael reassure themselves about the final three. “This feels good,” says Lisa, talking about the camaraderie. “No runaway,” says Michael. “It truly should go any direction,” agrees Lisa. Ha ha ha ha ha. Then they assemble the camp for the ritual burning.

Heading off to the jury, Lisa talks about what a great experience and how she’s much stronger and how much gratitude she has blah blah blah, I can’t be bothered listening to the same stuff over and over again any more. How much longer is this going to last?

Anyway, it’s the final Tribal Council and here are the jury members, including the eighth and final bitter juror, Malcolm. Malcolm at last has a new hairband.

Probst goes through his “power shifts to the jury... they will decide who’s most worthy” spiel. Then it’s time for the opening statements.

Denise says that she’s not going to apologize for being in the final three, and that she’s proud of it and deserves to be there. She talks about how she adapted to three tribes, and this gave her time to build alliances and sub-alliances. And she talks about proving her value at challenges and at being a strategic player unafraid to make moves. She has been to every single Tribal Council, and outwitted, outplayed and outlasted all of you losers on the jury.

Lisa says that all three of them outwitted, outplayed and outlasted the jury, they just did it in different ways. Her strategy “was not pretty”. It was “run wide open and then fall down.” Then she would “dust myself off and start running again.” She says that her mistakes were about not following her heart, and it wasn’t until brother Justice visited that she finally got the message, “Trust your gut and remember this is a game” and that she “could play this game worthy of the game” and she “threw a punch that knocked out the heavyweight player of the season.” That’s her pitch? That essentially she has been playing the game for five days? She’s not going to win.

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