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Michael’s argument is that as a returning player, his back was always up against the wall and that’s why he “did things with such fire.” Like in his Australian season! And he “can’t play this game any other way. I love this game too much.” I think that argument beats the minimum standard of “better than Lisa’s,” but that’s not the laundry list of things he could have said.

Here’s what I think he should have said: “I was on the bottom at Tandang, so I worked really hard at challenges to make sure I wasn’t eliminated. From Day 1 I was always next out, and every day I worked to be the one out after next out. At the merge, I had to adapt and go under the radar - even though it was against my nature. I only switched to a new alliance when it became obvious my old alliance was going to turn on me, and I made new alliances that took me further in the game. That's not flip-flopping, that’s adapting. More than anyone else sitting here, I did what I had to do to survive.” On paper, I don’t think Michael played a poor game, and he doesn’t have a bad story to tell. But when you actually listen to him talk, you realize he’s about as self-aware as Abi and that’s a big part of why he made the final three.

Anyway, it’s time for the jury questions. Bring it on! Bring on the bitterness!

Artis is first. He claims to have a “heavy heart... Normally, this is the part of the game where you should be congratulated.” But Artis “cannot do this. If you started the game with a holier-than-thou attitude, talking about loyalty and you end up playing a game contradicting that, you end up reaping what you sow.” Artis “held true to all my alliances, and... karma is a b[-word that is not bastard].” It’s great how people still demand loyalty from people they treated like excrement.

Carter is next. He congratulates Lisa because people saw her as “an easy target” but she’s sitting up there and he isn’t. “Good job,” he says, not realizing Lisa is there because she is an easy target. He notes that Michael’s name was around more than anyone’s and says they “played a good game, you guys.” But Carter wants to know about when he was sent packing, because he “couldn’t have played harder.” Michael explains that there was “no reason to keep you if anyone else was going to have a shot” and “friendship and game have to be separated.” “Thanks man, I appreciate that sincerely,” Carter monotones. Is he still hungry?

Pete says to Lisa that while she herself never voted for Artis or Pete, she still played a “Judas” in that she knew who was going home and didn’t share the news. Lisa corrects him that she did not know Artis was going home. Though she obviously knew that Pete was. “OK,” says Pete.

Now Denise, why did you play a better game than those other two? Denise says she went from tribe to tribe. She had to play a strategic game and a social game, always giving a reason to "why she should stay with the tribe". Then at the merge, it was the same thing. Tandang made the mistake of voting out RC instead of picking off the Kalabaws one by one. “But there were fractures and I worked with that.”

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