The Amazing Race Recap

By Daron Aldridge, Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

March 12, 2012

You realize we can't just shoot the other contestants, right?

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Since this will be our only recap of the season, and we hate everything about non-elimination legs as a concept, you can pretty much guarantee that tonight’s episode will be a non-elimination leg.

So far, we’re finding ourselves liking the rednecks from Kentucky – much to our surprise. Also, we haven’t watched five minutes of Big Brother in our lives, so we don’t know why everyone hates Brendon & Rachel. We’ve found them annoying at times, but Vanessa of Vanessa & Ralph was deplorable in her behavior towards Rachel last week. We know Daron is applauding her for it, but for people with no experience whatsoever with “Bad” Rachel, it seems needless and catty. That can’t be the person Vanessa wants to be.

We begin our fourth leg with Art & JJ reading a clue that instructs them to fly to Turin, Italy. It’s a 6,000 mile flight, which means that we’re going to see all these teams be bunched together, giving no one an advantage. Once they arrive, they’re instructed to get in their [insert product placement here] and drive to the Lingotto Building, where they’ll get their next clue.

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We’ve been impressed with Art & JJ so far, but then they start talking about how no one else has the intellect to beat them and blah blah blah. It’s like a condensed version of Lebron James’s The Decision. The fact that the guys are surprised they’re going to be bunched tells us all we need to know about that mighty intellect. In their defense, if we had a five-hour lead this early in the race, we wouldn’t’ want bunching, either.

Brendon & Rachel are excited when they get their clue. They’ve been planning their wedding, and say that this could be a preview of their honeymoon. Remember those prophetic words, folks.

FYI: Joey “Fitness” & Danny like women. They spend several moments describing the types of women they like. It’s a long list. There are few exclusions.

Bopper & Mark are excited to be going somewhere “tropical.” Yes, nothing says “the tropics” like the home of the 2006 Winter Olympics. Of course, we feel like jerks when Bopper talks about how he’s running this race because his winnings will help him to fund medicine for his daughter, who has damaged lungs from a coal processing plant near their home. So, uh, go Team Justified!

Continued: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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