Survivor: South Pacific

Cut Throat

By Jim Van Nest, Survivor Analyst

November 15, 2011

What can we do to make America hate us more?

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Albert tells us that while Jim's plan is very creative, he doesn't need to entertain it, as he has a plan of his own. As suggested after the last challenge, Albert must be targeting Dawn, because we're treated to shots of Dawn getting along with other Upolu people. Albert tells us that he feel Dawn is more dangerous than Jim because she's more likable and is slowly working her way into their alliance. Albert takes his concerns to Sophie, who tells him that they're just fine. She tells us that she thinks he's thinking a bit too much right now. Coach and Brandon join the conversation and Albert presents his opinion to them as well. Brandon seems intrigued, but Coach hasn't told him how to feel about it yet, so he says nothing. Coach then treats us to an analogy that only Coach could spin. He tells us that Jim is like a rhino, while Dawn is like a snake. The rhino will just charge right at you, all fists and fury, while the snake will slither around a while and try to work its way in. Frankly, I would say Dawn is anything but a snake, but this is a Coach-ism and who am I to correct it?

Right off the bat, Tribal is already pissing me off. Cochran shows up in Coach's jacket and Rick's hat and I want to punch him the peas. Worse than that, Brandon is wearing Cochran's sweater vest. What the hell is this? Survivor: Barbie's Camping Trip? Jeff asks Coach about sitting out of the challenge and Coach confirms that it's down to Jim and Dawn tonight. Sophie suggests that Jim is the larger threat while Albert says that Dawn is way more likable and she's real tough in challenges as well. Jeff asks Dawn if she feels that voting them out is what the Upolus should do. She admits that it's exactly what the Savaii tribe would have done if they had numbers. She adds in that she doesn't think they would have chosen to eat today. She says that it was hard for her to watch them eat.

Aw, shit. Here we go. Brandon has his hand up. And you know when Brandon puts his hand up at Tribal Council, there's getting ready to be a real long barrage of stupid thrust on our ears. Brandon tries to "catch" Dawn in a contradiction because earlier she said she wanted to last as long as possible so they could eat. She rationally explains that she did want to see them eat a lot, but it was hard for her to watch. Makes sense to every sane person on the planet. But Brandon uses this as his way of showing why Savaii is getting Pagonged. Honestly, as with most of Brandon's arguments, I can't even figure out a way to spin it so that it makes sense, so I won't try. The only thing Brandon said that made any sense was that the Upolus plan to vote out all the Savaiis.

Jeff asks Whitney what she thinks of everything. She breaks down in tears now over the vilification she feels at the hands of the Upolu tribe. She doesn't like being pegged as a bully. She's not a bad person. Jeff asks Brandon if it's hard to see Whitney cry. He says that he hates to see her cry and rambles on some more. But before he finishes, he says that it's a "no brainer for me." I can't help but think that most of Brandon's life has been a no-brainer, amIright? And with that, it's time to vote.


They show us none of the votes this time around and the only real mystery of this vote is who the Savaiis decide to vote for, but you have to assume it will be Cochran. Anyway, let's read the votes. Well, looks like Jim stuck to the plan and all the Savaiis vote for Edna. But Albert and Sophie didn't budge and Jim goes home 7-3. While Jim would have been my vote as well, I can't stand the cockiness the Upolu tribe is showing right now. As Jim exits, even Coach gets in on the act with a big grin and an obnoxious wave. C'mon man, what happened to integrity? What happened to sportsmanship? You don't rub your opponent's face in a loss. You shake his hand, tell him good game and go about your business. You're a coach for crying out loud. You'd NEVER approve of one of your soccer players taunting an opponent. So why do you have to do it?

Dammit, I was very much in the corner of this tribe, but after this episode, I don't know who to like anymore. On a different note, this should be an interesting Redemption Island challenge now with three pretty decent challenge threats going at it. You have to think Ozzy is the favorite to win...but Keith and Jim are no challenge slouches.

Next time on Survivor: Albert seems like he might finally make a move. But continuing in the footsteps of Rob, Coach is onto him. He even throws in a line about being dead if you go against the family. Meanwhile, Ozzy lies in wait over at Redemption, making himself a huge threat. One thing I'll mention about next week: from what I hear, the Redemption Island challenge will not be like last year, where only the loser goes home. This time, only the winner will stay. Also, two more people get the boot. Seems like it should be pretty ho-hum (Dawn and Whitney) right? Well, don't count on it. Until then, take care.

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