Survivor: South Pacific
By Jim Van Nest, Survivor Analyst
November 15, 2011
Keith - 100-1. Keith will last through this episode...of this I'm sure. Doesn't look like there will be a Redemption Duel this week. Once he has one, his odds really depend on who he's against. I have him down this low because the bottom line is, he's got one foot out the door already.
Cochran - 1 million-1. Doesn't matter what happens this week, or next week or all the way to the finale. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that John Cochran will not win Survivor: South Pacific. The best he can hope is that he "won" an invite back to a future season. He'll never make it to the end with Upolu and even if he does, there are already four or five jury members who will never vote for him. He's dead in the water. The only question now is: when will it happen?
The episode begins as we expect it to, right after Tribal as the Te Tuna tribe returns to camp. And now it's time to pummel Cochran with our words. Ozzy hits him first, and (as you would expect from someone who's played the game three times) isn't really too hard on him. Cochran tells Ozzy that he hasn't been obsessed with this game for 11 years to have his fate decided by a rock. As Ozzy tells him how bad he screwed him over, Brandon comes over to check on his new buddy. He says he wants to make sure no one's being aggressive. Ya know, if he interrupted Jim; that would make more sense. But Ozzy? Come on, man! Ozzy's more concerned that he's on his 23rd day with no hooch then he is with Cochran flipping his vote. Once Brandon leaves, Ozzy tells him that he's put his butt on the line for him a couple times. Cochran tells him it was all about self preservation. Ozzy tells us that he thinks Cochran is playing like a wiener. That's how a wiener would play. Really, Oz? A wiener? Did he steal your pudding cup after he flipped his vote too?
Next up is Jim, but he doesn't linger or anything. He tells Cochran he's a poor excuse for a man and to never talk to him again. Ok, easy enough. Two down. Whitney comes next. She tells Cochran that she and Keith saved him three times over the course of the game. He tries to tell her it wasn't against her, but she's not hearing it. Also, he's got a lot to learn and he disgusts her. After the tongue lashings are over, Cochran is called over and welcomed by the Upolu tribe. He tells us that he feels good that he finally stood up to his old tribe but he's having a hard time now with the feelings in camp. As the Upolus are telling him he did nothing wrong and everything's okay, we see Whitney complaining about how she's lost six weeks of her life out there now.
Um, Whit...come on. Really? I thought the goal of doing Survivor was to keep that 15 minutes going a little longer until the music career could take off? If folks are downloading the tunes as I suspect they are, I'd say that this has been a very solid six weeks of your life. But, by all means, be sure to amp up the drama. Can't hurt, right? Jim says something about Cochran being a bleepity bleep bleep nerd. So apparently his transformation into Stan Gable is complete. And with that, let's roll the credits.