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Holly steps into the spotlight at this point. She confirms that she told Fabio she would have voted him out as well. Her argument is that her honesty in this matter separates her from the other two players. She goes on to point out that she has demonstrated integrity and class in all of her dealings (Dan politely chooses not to guffaw at this), a statement that resounds with Fabio, who clearly seems to like her more than the other two remaining players. Then again, he also recognizes that most of the jury (but not Dan) feels the same way, which is exactly why Holly has to be the final person voted out of the competition. And she is. Holly votes for Sash while everyone else votes for Holly.

The winner of Survivor will be either Fabio or Chase. Also, Sash will be there.

When the three remaining players return to camp, Chase tells his companions that he thinks all three of them are awesome. Kim and David want to take this opportunity to tell you, the reader, that we think the three of us are also awesome. We’re more correct about this than Chase is, although to his credit, he did take a stand on something for once in his life. Sash then provides us with a huge laugh when he sincerely states, “I do feel that I played the best strategic game.” We hope for his sake that he is joking. The following morning, Chase tells Fabio that the latter gentleman has won the million dollars. We hope for our sake that he is right. Alas, we don’t bank on Chase being right a lot of the time. Please let this be the Broken Clock Right Twice a Day scenario.

The Final Tribal Council this season is frankly boring relative to most. Perhaps that’s fitting given what a disastrous season this has been. The problem is also exacerbated by the dull personalities of the remaining contestants. Fabio is genial to a point of fault, Chase is twitchy, and Sash is irrelevant. We are amused to see a pattern develop in the questions. Most of the people asking them first take the opportunity to spit at Sash, then they move to quiz Chase and Fabio about who is more worthy of the title. We were honestly thinking that Fabio’s victory would be a foregone conclusion, but it does appear that the jury members are taking their duties more seriously than normal this time, indicating that perhaps this is not the slam dunk we had expected.

The indecision may be triggered by aggressive opening remarks from Chase. He has clearly plotted out his course of action prior to arrival. He speaks confidently, even eloquently about how he looks forward to addressing each criticism given by the members of the jury. We are taken aback by his newfound charisma and find ourselves thinking that if he’d been like this the whole time, we’d be looking at a 9-0 vote tonight. The new and improved Chase is night and day better than the one we’ve been stuck with for the past 14 episodes. Fabio counters by effectively saying, “Hey guys, I’m Fabio. You liked me enough to give me a nickname. Vote for me.” He does make most of the jury members laugh with his aww shucks routine, proving once again that democratic voting is just a popularity contest. Sash attempts to place the jury’s focus upon the “Outwit” portion of the “Outwit. Outplay. Outlast” mantra that rules the game, arguing that all three of them have already checked the box for Outlast. If they didn’t know him enough to hate him, this tactic might work. But they do. Sash is screwed.

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