Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Recap
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
April 8, 2010
Probst returns! Today's Immunity Challenge has Survivors roped together as they navigate a mud-filled obstacle course to retrieve a flag. First tribe to three points wins immunity.
If you've ever seen highlights of the Nine Inch Nail's performance at Woodstock '94, you have a good idea what this looks like - and if you haven't, that's why God invented YouTube. The first leg is ELR and Sandra versus Amanda and Candice. To say Sandra struggles would be an understatement. To say that Evil Loser Russell handles it well would be a lie. If ELR had all the power he actually feels he deserves, she'd be getting the Kunta Kinte treatment when they got back to camp.
The next event is a one-on-one competition between Coach and Rupert. The sight gag here is when mud gets stuck in Rupert's beard, making him look a remarkable amount like Bill Nighy as Davy Jones. It's a very back-and-forth race, with Rupert having a slight edge on the way back because his ample belly creates a bigger hole under one of the obstacles. His slight lead is erased at the finish line, though, when Coach wins the sprint.
This means that the final leg will determine which tribe will be voting out a member tonight. It's Colby and JT versus Courtney and Parvati in what we are terming the "dead meat" round. Basically, the men don't even have to try, but they do anyway (they're Heroes, after all). This means that they have finished the course before their opponents can reach the halfway point. A salt in the wound moment occurs when Courtney injures her ankle. Heroes win immunity, and Jerri leaves muttering to herself about how she was right about what an idiot Coach is, how much her tribemates suck, and how much she misses Boston Rob. This is the Survivor equivalent of seller's remorse.
It's time to play It's Anyone But Courtney/Sandra - wait, hold the phone. Coach wants his name in there instead. He spends the first minute back from commercial break doing Hulk Hogan poses for the camera. We have now bumped his chances of being voted out to 98%.
Coach and ELR stand on the beach talking to each other about what the voting plan is, with both men using vague enough language that either one could be concerned about his own safety. Evil Loser Russell approaches Danielle, and she attempts to make an argument for Courtney's elimination. ELR gives her all of the consideration that Homer Simpson would get at a meeting of MENSA. Eventually, he interrupts her in mid-sentence and walks away. Stating the obvious, we've seen closer alliances.
Sandra lurks in the bushes and overhears the conversation, quickly informing Courtney of their status. She feels they have a chance to get Coach eliminated, but realizes it's going to be long odds. Eventually, ELR comes back to Danielle and Parvati (and Parvati's nipple) to announce that he's changed his mind. When Evil Loser Russell states that he wants to vote out Courtney, we cut to a rare monologue from Parvati, whose lack of presence in the last two episodes would seem to indicate an extended run in this season. She talks about the idiot she's dealing with (Evil Loser Russell), and while she doesn't explicitly state it, it's pretty clear that she thinks the best thing to do is let these nimrods fight amongst themselves. She's just biding time until the merge...and probably trying to figure out what kind of gem she wants on her scepter. All hail Queen Foxy Boxer.