Survivor: Samoa

Off With Their Heads

By Jim Van Nest

December 6, 2009

Everyone around me is a bunch of idiots.

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Hello, good people, and welcome back to Survivor: Samoa. My name is Jim and I'll be your guest host for tonight's episode. David and Kim are taking a much needed break this week and I was quick to volunteer to take the helm for a week because I'm upset about how this recap has been handled thus far this season.

The Russell Seed was planted at the Van Nest household and I don't think Russell has been shown the love and respect he deserves. I love me some David and Kim, but I think they've totally missed the boat on Russ and because of their obvious bias; they're not giving him enough credit for the masterpiece he's painting for us on a weekly basis.


So, please bear with me for a minute while I try to undo ten weeks worth of injustice. Russell is in control of this game and has been since day one. He has made alliance after alliance, each one serving his purpose of cashing the million-dollar check. He's cut off alliances when it was time and he's gone along with the crowd when it served his best interest. He sabotaged his own team and in the process created a four-person alliance that looks to be as solid a four-person alliance as we've seen since the Rich-Rudy-Sue-Kelly alliance from the very first season. The only way this alliance gets broken is when Russell decides to break it. And he will break it. He has the most solid alliance in the game right now with Natalie and when it comes time, Mick and Jaison will have to go so he and Natalie can sit together as the finalists. Sure, immunity can throw a monkey wrench into his ultimate plan...and many times it will. But with an 8-4 deficit erased and an immunity idol in his pocket, Russell is sitting in the catbird seat and is poised to make a run deep into this game.

All that being said, let me give you a quick rundown of my feelings of all the players left in the game. I think John has the mentality to completely mess up Russell's game, if he can find ANYone smart enough to go along with him. Natalie is playing a brilliant social game right now and with a break or two could find herself cashing a big fat check. Monica's an idiot. Dave's not much better. Mick has shown me nothing in the game that would suggest that he's anything other than Russell's pawn at this point. Jaison is a very smart guy. And I think he really wants to win. I just don't know that he's got the right kind of smarts to play a game as cutthroat as Survivor. I heard there's someone named Brett in the game. I've only seen tiny bits of evidence to confirm this rumor. Then, there's Shambo. God love her, she's just not built for this game. She's a hoot and she's good for a vote. But as it stands right now, she's set up to be a fifth wheel no matter which way she goes. Her best option may be to stick with Russell and hope to be the third wheel in a potential Final Three. Every season, a horrible player seems to make the finals. If things go her way, Shambo could be Samoa's version. Ok, with that all out of the way, what do you say we get to tonight's action...?

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