Off With Their Heads
By Jim Van Nest
December 6, 2009
As always, we begin as the tribe returns from Tribal Council. John is the voiceover telling us that he had no intention of picking stones to save Laura. He tells Monica that he tried to tell Galu that they were making a mistake and since no one listened, he made the move to join Russell. Naturally, Monica is pissed off about it because, apparently, she was willing to go home to keep Laura in the game. Because of his betrayal, John has definitely earned Monica's vote tonight.
The next morning, Tree Mail arrives and each player is given a wallet with $500 in it. You know what that means!!! SURVIVOR AUCTION TIME!! This is always one of my favorite episodes.
Probst sighting! Jeff lays out the rules: no sharing food, no sharing money, bid in increments of $20 and as always, the auction can end at any time. First item up for bids? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Natalie jumps right in with a $200 bid and no one counters. Next item will remain covered. After a pretty long bidding session, Shambo comes out on top with a bid of $240. Her item? "Sea noodles" aka slug guts. Showing that he's not a complete tyrant, Jeff sprinkles a little parmesan on them for her. Not surprisingly, she grabs a fork and sucks 'em down. Um...EW! Next item up for bids is also a covered item. Dave bids $300 right off the bat. Monica jumps up and takes it for $340. What does she get for her money? A whole roasted chicken. Not too shabby.
The next item up for bids is an advantage in the next immunity challenge. After John bids $300, Jaison asks Jeff a question. "We both have $500, what if we both bid $500?" Jeff tells him that it's whoever gets there first. After a moment's hesitation, Jaison bids $500 and takes the advantage. Next item, cheeseburger (and a frickin huge cheeseburger) fries and a cold beer. Before Jeff can even set the lid down, Mick shouts out $500 and wins the burger. Another non-food item is next. A clue to the location of the hidden immunity idol, which gets sold to John for $200. (Have I mentioned that Russell already has that idol? Just checking.)
The next item is the opportunity to take a hot shower and get a change of underwear. For $120, Natalie wins this item and let the stripper music begin as she undresses. Next item is a huge piece of apple pie. John wins it for $300. As he gets to the table, Monty Probst wants to make a deal. John can keep his slice of pie OR he can give up his piece of pie and have a full pie to split up between four other people. He asks the group what they want and they all want some pie. So, naturally, John takes the greedy way out and keeps the slice for himself. Russell states the obvious...you never take the pie. You give it away. He tells us that he would have given a piece to each Foa Foa and Shambo and John just showed how stingy he is. When you think about it, was this even a choice, really? I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you share the pie. Oh, wait a minute... And with that, Survivor Auction 2009 is over.