The Amazing Race All-Stars Epsiode Four

No Babies on the Race

By Reagen Sulewski

March 18, 2007

Worst episode ever. We'll miss you guys.

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An unprecedented run of three straight leg wins has Rob & Amber riding high as they leave the Pit Stop for today's action in Chile. While Amber thinks they are peaking, Rob shows some humility and... okay, there's no way you'd believe me, so yeah, he goes over the top of her and says they're not even close to peaking. Do you hear me, people? No comeuppance! Immediately, they get on a plane to Punta Arenas, and are directed to find a famous shipwreck there.

Uchenna & Joyce remark on the fact that during their season, while Rob & Amber did beat them most of the way, they won when it counted. You know, when the producers reached in and held a plane for drama purposes. I wouldn't crow too loud about that "victory" there, guys.

Following behind are Eric & Eric's girlfriend's boobs (a.k.a. Danielle) – it's good to see that obsession still remains – along with Dustin and Kandice. They complain that their problems have related to overthinking the race, and while it's easy to come up with a blond joke there (oh, so easy), it's actually kind of true, and they remain one of the most solid teams out there. And, to their credit, don't seem to resent Rob & Amber's success to date, or seem to be rattled by them.

Danny & Oswald are next, and their biggest concern seems to revolve around who in the race is the biggest snorer (Kandice, apparently, if you're keeping score), with Teri & Ian and Joe & Bill just behind.

Meanwhile, the first three teams have reached the airport and booked a 9:40 a.m. flight, with rapidly diminishing seats and a departure time quickly approaching. They may be able to get some distance from the pack if the rest don't hurry.


Finally, Charla & Mirna get out of the gate, and some ugliness arises in this team (and it's so well known for being stable!). After a minor delay when Charla misplaces their purse, Mirna proceeds to give Charla a talking to like she's six-years-old. Then, off camera, she claims that she's had to do more physically and mentally than any other racer on the history of the show. I'd pay a lot of money to see Charla's reaction to this claim – just starting with the fact that she might be the most useless person on the show, prone to insane hysterics at the drop of a pin, and that Charla is actually a hell of a lot stronger than you, as evidenced by the infamous 50 pounds of meat task. So let's just hold off the canonization of Saint Mirna just a little while, huh?

We now reach our first bit of airline drama this morning, with Dustin & Kandice and Danny & Oswald getting tickets for the first flight, and Teri & Ian begging to be let on. In the end, seats are found for them, and we have a lead pack of six teams.

Joe & Bill arrive at the counter just as the plane is boarding, but are left out in the cold after a brief pleading session. Well, we sure know who the producers aren't cheering for now, don't we?

Cue Charla & Mirna arriving at the airport. Joe & Bill spot them, and after finding someone in the airport to help them find their next clue once they're on the ground, try to squeeze out Charla & Mirna from leeching on their resourcefulness. Which also has the added benefit of reducing your chances of having to talk to these two. For Charla & Mirna's part, they want none of Joe & Bill either, because of their tremendous ability to perceive anything as a slight. Apparently Joe & Bill had ditched them, or didn't talk to them in the hallway or something probably equally as silly.

Continued:       1       2       3       4



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