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The Amazing Race All-Stars Epsiode Four

No Babies on the Race

By Reagen Sulewski

March 18, 2007

Worst episode ever. We'll miss you guys.

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When Rob & Amber reach the beach, Rob's bad instincts continue, as he decides to run down the path that Teri & Ian did, instead of spotting the flag for the clue right in front of them. Lucikly for them, Charla & Mirna follow them. Amber realizes their mistake quickly, and they turn around and throw Charla & Mirna off the trail by pretending to have the clue. Note, however, that Charla actually asks if they had it – what, mooching off their efforts, you guys? – and Amber never actually responds directly to them.

In a side interview, Mirna claims to know that Amber was being phony, and Charla says that her experience as a lawyer let her know that she was being lied to. That's all well and good, but... why did you keep running down the path, then?

At the post office detour, Teri & Ian find their letter from Flo and Zach. Or should I say FLLLLOOOOO! For those that weren't watching the show then, this was simultaneously the best and worst team in Amazing Race history, by virtue of Zach running the race almost by himself, carrying only a 150 pound anchor named Flo that constantly threatened to quit. It was rather outstanding. Teri & Ian then make it to the pitstop for third. It's a good showing, but they made several mistakes throughout the leg and got to this point by virtue of other teams making bigger ones.

All the remaining teams have now reached the ferry to the island, where they have to travel in groups of two. Rob & Amber continue to chuckle over the cleverness of their ruse in getting Charla & Mirna delayed, but really, does this even count as a challenge?

Charla asks them why they would do that, though Amber claims she was saying something else to them. Honestly, why not just say, "Because I was trying to get you lost"? It's a race. A competition. Have we not figured this out yet?




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Joe & Bill and Dustin & Kandice are the first group to hit the Roadblock, with Joe & Bill finding their letter first. It's from Frank of Frank & Margherita, and is a Grandmaster Flash-esque rap, Frank's attempt to be as annoying to them as they were to him. Dustin & Kandice then find their letter, and it too is from only one team member of a team, Lyn from Lyn & Karlyn, the Alabama team who clashed continually with these two. It's like a Geraldo special here with all the antagonistic teams being reunited. Joe & Bill make it in for fourth, and Dustin & Kandice come in for fifth.

Uchenna & Joyce and Rob & Amber are the next group in the post office, though Charla & Mirna get there before either team can leave. That's not for long, though, with Uchenna & Joyce finding their letter, from the mother-son team of Susan & Patrick (who you might recall as the kid who could only relate to the world through being gay). They work their way around for sixth spot.

Tensions rise in the post office with our two remaining teams, and Mirna flips out after Rob tries to play rules lawyer on the Roadblock. She says something about him not knowing what it means to pray to deceased relative for help – which completely baffles me. Then again, trying to understand her thought process leads only to madness.

Apparently this works, though, as Mirna finds her letter and runs off with the oh-so-mature taunt of "see you, wouldn't want to be you". It's my understanding that she has a terminal case of cooties, so I wouldn't judge her too harshly. Their letter is from Lance & Marshall, which is another antagonistic letter. On the other hand, I'm surprised that they didn't just quit writing in the middle of their letter.

Rob finally finds their letter, which is also from Susan & Patrick, who share no love for them, either. It's now a footrace for the finish, which would be a foregone conclusion given how far back Rob & Amber must be, except for Charla's obvious disadvantage. With Mirna shouting insane words of encouragement, they hustle up the hill to the pit stop, beating a strangely dawdling Rob & Amber, who are eliminated. From three straight firsts all the way to last, it's a really stunning development. They take it quite well for their part. This leg seemed almost tailor-made to knock them out, putting obstacles right in the way of Rob's personality.


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