Survivor: Fiji

Let's Just Call Jeff on the Phone

By Jim Van Nest

March 6, 2007

Goodbye, Moto.

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Hello, good people, and welcome back to a season of Survivor that's so boring, even BOP can't make it fun. Previously on Survivor, the Ravu tribe continued to be dominated by a stronger, more rested Moto tribe. Let's see, Gary hurt himself and had to be treated by the medical staff. Anthony almost whined himself out of the game and Sylvia finally took the walk of shame.

Honestly, I can't think of a season that has had a worse beginning. Watching one tribe be given everything and then watch them go on and win everything has amazingly enough proven to NOT be good television. In fact, this season is so bad, I'm reminiscing about the good ole days of Survivor: Africa, Marquesas and Thailand. Hell, I'm almost ready for All Stars 2. Anyway, the previews for this week showed more possible medical issues and promised a big twist. Well, it's about damned time they did something. Let's just hope it turns out to be worth it.

What do you say we start with Ravu after Tribal? Cool? Cool. Earl takes control when they get back. He wants everyone to sit down and get all the hard feelings out in the open. Rocky complains about how much Anthony complains all the time. Basically tells him that he's not acting like a man. Anthony again takes the high road and apologizes. But then he tells us how he was picked on as a kid and has low self esteem. He starts to break down during his confessional and I can kinda see why Rocky's annoyed.

We come back from the intro to Camp Cholesterol. Stacy and Lisi are talking about how perfect everything is right now. They have the luxury of the only bad part of their day being a cloud covering the sun. Actually, they have one other bad thing. Gary is hurting, with a capital H. His head is messed up and he can't breathe. Honestly, I don't see how he'll possibly stay in this game. Lisi showing the utmost compassion is worried that she'll end up having to babysit him. Wow, and I thought she was annoying when she didn't speak.


Probst sighting! Both tribes will line up on a balance beam over water. One at a time, the tribe will need to cross the beam going around the rest of the tribe. You fall off; you have to go back to the start. First tribe to get all the members across wins reward. Wanna know what they're playing for? A huge plate of fish, spices, some rice and some pillows and blankets. Also, the winning tribe will come back to camp and find a fully loaded king sized bed. Gary and Cassandra will sit out for Moto.

Michelle and Stacy start off for each tribe. Michelle goes through with no problem whatsoever. Stacy knocks herself and Lisi into the water two times. So Lisi takes a chance, and she screws it up twice. Meanwhile, Yau Man makes his way across with no problem. After a couple more tumbles, Lisi finally gets across. As if things weren't bad enough for him, Anthony loses it and falls in a couple times, while Alex gets across to tie the game for Moto. Ravu changes it up and everyone drops in to change their order. As they do this, Edgardo (who?) gets across. Liliana gets through as Mookie takes a dive. Dreamz and Stacy make it over and then Boo steps over and Moto continues their winning streak. And if Anthony doesn't go home tonight, it'll be a frickin miracle. Oh yeah, and Yau Man gets sent to Exile Island.

Just what I was hoping to see. The Moto tribe celebrating and gloating. You know, I really hate this tribe. And it's not their fault, really; it's the show's fault. I'll go into this more later, but this is without a doubt the worst idea this side of the Outcast Tribe.

At Ravu, things don't look good. Rocky's pissed. Rita wants to talk about it, he wants to throw rocks. He says they should just call Jeff up on the "Jeff Phone" and say they want to go to Tribal and vote someone out right now. Even the negative nelly, Mookie, tells Rocky to let it go. Earl seems to be turning on him as well. He tells us that maybe Rocky should do something around camp. Anthony tells Earl that he knows he's gone if they lose again, but his hope is to let Rocky keep mouthing off. Earl likes Anthony but says it's getting hard to keep defending him.

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