Survivor: Cook Islands
By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis
October 21, 2006
Hmm, the editing for Aitu follows a similar trajectory. Angry Jonathan lets the camera know that he is ready for Cao Boi to be gone. We don't mean to criticize, but how is this big bowl of Fruit Loops still alive in the contest anyway? Which five people did they have on the show who were worse than him? There must have been a pedophile, a serial killer, an Oakland Raiders fan, a Star Wars geek and Rosie O'Donnell.
Now is the time on Survivor where Kim and David remember why we didn't want to do the recaps this season. Cao Boi tells his comrades that they should be alert for a "white alliance". Classy. Meanwhile, Yul has the real jerk targeted. He recognizes that our instant dislike of Jonathan is well founded. He states that everyone at Aitu is innately aware of the fact that Jonathan has a lot of Richard Hatch in him (not like that, perverts). Jonathan adds to the fun by making this statement: "Tonight, if I get voted off, I will be shocked. I don't believe that's gonna happen. I've got some pretty tight partners. If I'm wrong, then I've been outplayed and the conspiracy is much bigger than I can picture." Gee, Fox Mulder, paranoid much?
Aitu's Tribal Council begins with Cao Boi quibbling with Probst over the presence of the immunity idol. The discomfort of the other members makes it readily apparent that they find him just as creepy as we do. Some discussion occurs about Jonathan possibly having a target on his back due to his being a key decision maker. This is empty talk, however. There is no mistaking the fact that Cao Boi is simply too flighty for his cohorts. Cao Boi votes for Candice while Rollergirl votes for Jonathan. Everyone else votes for the crazy stoner.
As Aitu grabs a bite to eat in the jury section, Cao Boi blames his fall on his inability to relate to "members of the Asian community", proclaiming he trusted them too much. Dude, you're just a freak job. It's not that complicated. While he's whining, Raro enters Tribal Council. The first thing they see is Probst hand out lamb shanks and cider to the opposition. Nate tries to blow off their discomfort in watching the enemy feast. He points out that they dined on octopus; ergo, they are not hurting for meals.
The more noteworthy discussion involves Adam the Great offering praise to Candice. We're told the duo were snuggle buddies early on this season, and it's obvious that he's looking forward to their going off into the bushes together after the merge. He throws her compliments about winning the challenge for her tribe, and she responds with the words "I love you". Candice is apparently a slow learner about the ol' "I love you" compliment. We imagine Billy's heart broke as he watched the replay of this.
The rest of Tribal Council is a re-hash of events from three nights ago. Jenny and Brad agree that Adam's treatment of Cristina was way too harsh. People, this is what happens when Survivors stop being polite and start being real. Unbeknownst to her, Cristina offers the very same "I let my guard down" comment that Cao Boi is simultaneously making in the post-vote confessional. That can't be a good sign. Nor is it a positive that after Jenny and Brad leap to her defense, Adam shows no regret whatsoever, once again verifying he actively dislikes her.
Before the vote begins, Aitu is given the chance to mess up Raro's plans for the vote. They are allowed to "kidnap" one member, bringing them over to have a lamb chop and enjoy the vote from a safe distance. The chosen member of Raro will stay with Aitu that night and participate on their side until the next Reward Challenge. The obvious choice is Cristina as that would create chaos at the vote, but Nate, the most likable contestant on either side, is selected instead. Adam shoots Candice a pained look as the forlorn lovers remain separated for another series of days. Nate enjoys his meal for a moment as the contestants vote, but then his new buddies at Aitu and him are then asked to leave prior to the vote. This creates a bit of drama as the absence of Nate makes the vote closer than expected. In the end, however, Cristina's bristly personality proves too divisive. She is eliminated in a 4-2 vote against Jenny. Serves you right for losing that coin flip, bitch!
Speaking of losing, we'd like to happily proclaim that Mets fans continue to crack us up. You might think that "worst starter in playoff history" Oliver Perez would have been to blame for the Mets heart-wrenching Game 7 loss, but it's just not true. Instead, you can credit both teams for one of the greatest playoff games ever. The Cardinals' Jeff Suppan won the series MVP award for his masterful pitching performances, and Yadier Molina had the clutch home run that ultimately brought about the victory. It's a great day to be a Cardinals fan, and it sucks to be everyone else (except for Tigers fans. But it certainly did suck to be them a couple of years ago.).