Survivor: Cook Islands
By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis
October 21, 2006
Parvati and Rebecca from Raro are given the task of attempting to move a largely immovable object in Candice. Becky and Jessica must remove Sundra from the pole. Becky shows a lot of fire for a woman her size, while the scary looking Jessica shows a penchant for fighting dirty whenever possible. Meanwhile, Parvati is utterly useless, while Candice might as well be glued to her post. Sundra gets taken all the way to the finish line before Candice is even a third of the way to the line. Even worse, she forms a bunker there, preventing further movement. In the interim, Nate is briefly assaulted by Jonathan and Yul before eventually succumbing to the two men who have him seriously out-weighed. Nate is actually eliminated before Candice, creating an insurmountable lead for Raro. Cristina attempts to hold on when her time comes and does an admirable job, but her position is nearly impossible given that both Ozzy and Sundra must be eliminated before her. In the end, Raro wins.
This doesn't sound exciting, but we assure you that this is a veritable orgy of violence for the viewers of CBS. Highlights include Cristina being threatened for pulling too much hair, Jessica being threatened for choking and getting away with an elbow to the rib cage, Cristina attempting to strip Jessica (mmm, cat fight), Ozzy receiving a full fledged power bomb and – our personal favorite – Rebecca roughly shoving her hand into the area of Candice's womanly treasures. If it happens in the real world, that's sexual assault. On Survivor, it's just another day at the office.
It's time to play North America's favorite game, It's Anyone But...wait a minute, we don't know who any of these people are. Well, we don't like Cristina and that dude Cao Boi strikes us as Arkham Asylum material. So, we'll pick the two of them.
"I've never wrestled a cop before." – Jessica, gloating about her girl-on-girl encounter with Cristina.
After Raro's members boast about their physicality for a bit (you guys know you lost, right?), we return to Aitu where Yul is patiently listening to old man Boi talk about the good ol' days. No, wait, this isn't a flashback sequence. Boi is discussing a dream he had that involved invisibility, rope, and an American Express card. Yul's look during this sequence is priceless. He suddenly understands how Cheech Marin felt during those last days before the break-up with Tommy Chong.
This is a rather boring segment altogether. The main thing that happens is that Cristina suddenly gets a lot friendlier to people now that she has come to realize her tribe will be voting someone off tonight. The only reason we aren't certain she will be eliminated is that Adam is bordering on over-confident with regards to the vote. Of course, there has been a Survivor editing trick lately where they show who will be voted off then muddy the waters a bit by showing a couple of other possible candidates. Then, they circle back to the first suspect just as would be done in a lousy mystery novel.