Survivor San Juan Del Sur Recap
Episode 4

We're a Hot Mess

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

October 15, 2014

Sorry, I just woke up. Who did you say was always sleeping?

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Probst sighting! He’s standing on an Octagon of Awesomeness. Drew is still pondering throwing the challenge. We laugh at his lack of self-awareness.

In today’s Immunity Challenge, the teams will swim out through a sort of obstacle course. Once they’ve reached the other end, they’ll retrieve a ring. Once they have brought back all their rings, they have to toss them onto a target. First one to get all their rings on the target wins.

Although Baylor gets out to an early lead on the first leg of the challenge, Reed takes over in the second one. Natalie allows Alex back in the game, but they’re pretty much even after two legs. Wes is able to get well ahead of his father, and they’re back first and ready to start throwing their rings. Hunahpu isn’t far behind, though.

Of course, as Probst tells us, “Drew is singlehandedly losing this for his tribe!” He keeps throwing the wrong rings (there’s some sort of unclear requirement about which ones can be thrown at what time) and then he is pretty obviously missing deliberately. And so…

Koyopa. Wins. Immunity!

We cut to Drew saying that he threw the challenge on purpose (which was obvious to anyone with his eyes, probably including his own teammates).

“If I don’t want to win, we’re not going to win. And that’s what makes me the kingpin of my tribe,” Drew says. He truly believes that he’s about to vote out a “snake.” At this point, we see absolutely no reason to stop playing “It’s Anyone But Drew.” John Rocker had two really bad episodes in a row, but Drew’s Survivor performance is epically bad.


Wow. Drew just keeps talking. “Basically, I’m a badass and a manipulator of this game.”

It’s really adorable how Survivor is going to try to make us think that Drew isn’t getting voted out at Tribal Council. Jon has a strategy. He’s thinking that at merge, the individuals might vote out the duos, so it makes some sense to eliminate someone like Julie. A lot of people are onboard with this because 1) John Rocker and 2) She’s been kind of worthless in challenges. Then, Drew comes up and says he wants Kelley gone. Apparently something has gone down between these two that we haven’t seen, because the animosity is strong between them.

Then, of course, we have Jeremy, who wants Keith gone for the theoretical backstabbing he pulled earlier. Rather than have a conversation, Drew does the equivalent of stomping his feet and holding his breath to get his way.

We’re also alarmed to note that Natalie appears to be within this group’s power alliance.

Anyway, the discussion basically boils down to Drew pissing off Jeremy more than Keith had pissed off Jeremy. Let’s count Jeremy as a vote for Drew.

Next, Natalie approaches Missy and tells her that Drew is plotting to eliminate the women one by one. We’ll count Missy and Natalie as Drew votes as well.

Meanwhile, Drew continues his tirade against Kelley, who hears him. Obviously, Kelley is going to be a Drew vote. That’s four. One more and he’s gone. We’re not even to Tribal Council yet. And we haven’t even gotten to the allies of his haters yet.

Also, we haven’t touched on Julie’s vote. Presumably, she’s going to go with Drew as well.

Tribal Council continues to try to lead us down a Not Drew path. Jeremy calls out Keith for the idol situation, and Keith tries to argue that Jeremy would have betrayed him otherwise. Jeremy says that they could have had a sub-alliance of two, but Keith doesn’t think that’s a possible thing. Jeremy tells him, “It’s a thing in Survivor,” which is true. If Keith was hoping to gain allies for this move, it really backfired, because both Missy and Natalie openly mock him for it. There’s enough derision that he might become uncomfortable enough to play his idol.

Jon flat out says he has no idea what name he’s even supposed to write down right now.

It’s time for the vote, and Jeff calls for people to use the immunity idol. They all look around but Keith holds strong.

When Jeff reads the votes, the order is Julie, Kelley, Drew, Keith, Julie, Drew, Drew, Drew. His belief that the ladies were conspiring against him was a self-fulfilling prophecy. (And as we ascertained earlier, Jeremy was a fifth vote for him.)

The Drew Show is cancelled after one episode.

Continued:       1       2       3       4



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