2013 Films in Haiku
By Curt David
December 30, 2013
Monsters University When Mike and Sully From Monsters Inc., were younger They met in college
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Girl can see demons Joins group to fight the dark side Fantasy Action
Movie 43 Very famous cast Does film with raunchy humor There’s not more to say.
Mud Outlaw in hiding Befriends two young boys for help He loves a woman
Now You See Me Group of magicians Steal from banks to give to poor FBI is mad
Oblivion Humans have left Earth Government sends back one man He discovers truth
Olympus Has Fallen White House is taken One guard is our only hope From the terrorists
One Direction: This is Us Five regular boys Become world famous boy band This is their story
Out of the Furnace Brother gets kidnapped Police won’t do anything He’ll become the law
Oz the Great and Powerful The Wizard of Oz Where did the wizard come from? Here’s his backstory.
Pacific Rim Guy is recruited Controls robot with his mind To fight large monsters
Pain and Gain Three bodybuilders Decide to rob a rich man It’s a true story
Paranoia Smart guy is hired To find intel from others He is double-crossed
Parker Tough man wants payback Teams up with sexy J.Lo To bring down bad guys.
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Demi-gods at camp Destroyer of Gods coming Must find fleece to win
Phantom Crew on submarine May cause World War 3 with bomb Should they press button?
Philomena Woman had a son Taken from her years ago She has to find him
The Place Beyond the Pines There’s a stunt biker Robs banks to support his son Police after him
Planes Like the movie Cars Plane wants to be a racer Underdog story
Prisoners Two girls abducted Dads take law into own hands Cops ineffective
Promised Land Corporation comes To buy out small town farmers They pull together
The Punk Singer Documentary Of feminist punk singer From "Bikini Kill"
The Purge All crime is legal On just one night every year Will you survive it?
Quartet Four friends reunite At musicians nursing home They sing opera
R.I.P.D Guy dies. Then “wakes” up Joins Rest In Peace Department He stops bad dead men
Red 2 Ex- CIA men Are now on hit list to die They’re old and kick @$$
Riddick Unstoppable guy Bounty Hunters capture him He fights aliens
Runner Runner Bad guy hired guy Bad guy frames guy for bad stuff Guy needs to survive
Rush Two racecar drivers Their rivalry on the track Based on true story
Safe Haven Girl moves to new town Based on Nicholas Sparks book Love but there’s secrets.
Saving Mr. Banks Mary Poppins book Disney wants to make a film Author not selling
Scary Movie 5 It reminds me of Par’normal Activity But a Parody
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Guy has boring life Stops dreaming and starts living Has an adventure
Side Effects Girl Gets Medicine Murder, Drama, Sex Happens Something about pills
The Smurfs 2 There are evil smurfs They want to capture Smurfette Smurfs to the rescue!
Snitch Son wrongly in jail The Rock needs to lay smack down To get son justice
The Spectacular Now High school party guy Falls for normal high school girl They learn about love
Spring Breakers Girls rob bank for trip Most wild spring break ever Illegal actions
Stand Up Guys Old man has a friend But he has to murder him First they hit the town
Stark Trek Into Darkness A bad guy escapes Enterprise goes after him The good guys might fail?
Texas Chainsaw 3D Guy has a chainsaw He wears a mask and kills folks And it's in 3D
This is the End The rapture happens How do famous stars react All played by themselves
Thor: The Dark World Thor needs his brother To help save the universe He has a hammer
Turbo Snail wants to be fast Radiation makes him fast Time for Indy race
Tyler Perry Presents Peeples Guy meets girl’s parents He wants to ask for her hand Father disapproves
Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas No-nonsense black gal Go spends Christmas with rednecks Comedy ensues
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor Married guy and girl Girl seduced by other man More drama happens
Walking with Dinosaurs Baby dinosaur Has to become the leader Watch for carnivores!
Warm Bodies There’s a boy zombie He falls in love with human. Gets complicated.
The Way, Way Back Awkward high school kid Finds himself during summer Working at a pool
We're the Millers Guy has to get drugs Gets “wife,” “children” for cover “Wife” is a stripper
White House Down Soldier in White House Terrorists take President One guy versus all
The Wolf of Wall Street Guy works at Wall Street Makes a lot, a lot, of cash Has parties and stuff
The Wolverine Wolverine is back He fights a lot of people He is in Japan
World War Z World is in danger Billions turned into zombies What can Brad Pitt do?
The World's End Five guys on bar tour Robot Apocalypse comes There’s British humor
You're Next Cabin in the woods Killers come dressed as mammals They kill everyone
Continued:
1
2
3
4
|
|
|
|