Survivor: Caramoan - Episode 13

Don’t Say Anything About My Mom

By Ben Willoughby

May 9, 2013


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Ready for the challenge? The castaways will be competing along with their loved ones. They will have to spin in circles to unscrew a rail from a post, and then carry the post back to a rack and attach it. After doing this three times, they have to untie knots to release bolas, which they will then toss at the rails. First team to get three bolas hanging from the rails wins reward, which is that they will go to a floating backyard barbecue cruelly located only 50 meters offshore from camp. And for Survivor newbies, you don’t really want to win this challenge, because loved one challenges always involve picking someone to come with you on reward and it will burn you no matter which way you play it.

Erik and brother are the first to get a rail undone, followed by Brenda and father. Cochran is last and Probst gets out the smack-talk! “Arlene, already slowing down!” “Don’t say anything about my mom,” says Cochran in a tone that suggests he doesn’t want Probst to come over and push him onto the ground. In front of his mom. But good for Cochran. “How old are you?” “She’s about to be 64 in a few weeks,” replies Cochran. “You look good, woman!” which is Probst’s way of smoothing things over. I’m going to try apologizing to women that way. I’ll report what happens!

Brenda and father are also first to complete the rail part of the challenge, but there’s not much in it because everyone is tossing bolas at the same time, even Cochran and his slow mom. How slow is Cochran’s mom? She’s so slow, it looks like she’s doing the challenge backwards. She’s so slow she gives turtles high self-esteem. She’s so slow she could guest-star on The Walking Dead. As a human. Anyway, they catch up a bit over the challenge. “Was the flight over horrible?" asks Cochran. “Yeah yeah, but it was fine." Ah, moms.


Sherri’s husband seems to be the first to get a bola on the rails, and then Brenda and father have two, and Dawn and Dave have two, and Brenda’s father comes up to toss and Brenda and Raymond win reward!

Probst explains how this is going to work. Brenda can select one other person and their loved one to go with her. She picks “Dawn... for so many reasons.” But Probst wants to complicate things some more, and he shows her another product-placed phone. “Hey Bren, I’m here too! And I’ve got plenty of love for everyone!” It turns out that the second loved ones are here too! Disbelief from all the castaways. Cochran’s dad and Sherri’s son and Erik’s other brother and Eddie’s mom and Dawn’s best friend (who is nuts, according to Dawn) and Brenda’s sister. So Brenda has a choice to make.

She and Dawn can go on reward with both of their loved ones, or she and Dawn can sit back at camp alone while the other castaways enjoy their barbecue with both of their loved ones only 50 yards away from camp. That is brutal. So brutal we have to break to commercial.

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