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Probst sighting! Survivor auction! Normal rules – bids are in increments of $20, no sharing money, no sharing food, it will end without warning.

First item includes a beer and Malcolm is immediately in for $20! In interview, he narrates about what a dope he was and how he had been “prepping myself for hours and I might have just shot himself in the foot for a beer and some nuts." That’s what you get when you take a course in impulse control from Michael Skupin. Probst asks Malcolm to drink, and Malcolm drains a bottle while Eddie stares longingly as though Malcolm is naked Kate Upton.

The next item will be auctioned blind, and Reynold eventually wins it with a bid of $180. But there’s a twist – Reynold can exchange the still-covered item, for another covered item, or a third one. Cochran says it’s the Monty Hall problem and Reynold should switch. “I don’t trust you, Cochran,” says Reynold and he sticks. “Don’t you? Oh.” Cochran doesn’t care.

Good news for Reynold, he did not buy a rotten coconut; he did buy a slice of pizza. What he did not buy was the rest of the pizza. Sherri immediately bids $500 for the rest of the pizza and after Probst recovers from the surprise it is sold. “Don’t you think there might be something else down the road?” asks Probst. “I don’t care.”

Next up is a whole roast chicken, which Dawn buys for $500. Reynold thought it might be a bat. Heh. Then it’s information that will help you in this game. Malcolm immediately bids $480, and there’s a tense moment, but no one has the gonads to raise to $500. Malcolm has 60 seconds to read directions to a hidden immunity idol.

The next item is covered. Brenda tentatively bids $100, Andrea ups the bid to $200 and Brenda’s voice cracks as she explains to Probst about how she doesn’t want to take risks. Erik is in for $260 and Andrea bids $280, and she gets spaghetti, garlic bread and even a big glass of wine.

But there’s a dilemma – she can either keep the meal with all that tasty, tasty garlic bread, oh my God I’m going to go and make some garlic bread right now, or she can trade it for a bag of beans and rice. Andrea does the only thing she really can and trades for beans and rice. If I were Probst I would have started tucking into that garlic bread right there in front of everyone. After toasting everyone with my brimming glass of wine.

Next up is an advantage in the next immunity challenge. Reynold bids $300, Brenda $320 and Cochran wins the bid with $340. No bid from Eddie, the dum-dum. He’s probably thrilled some guy gave him a wad of bills and wondering “Why is Sherri spending $500 on pizza? It’s like $5 a slice at Sbarro, dude!” Cochran collects a sealed note which he will read out at the challenge.

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