Survivor: South Pacific
A castaway makes a big move
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
December 1, 2011
5) Edna – We don’t think she has great odds of winning, but since she’s so vanilla compared to the more offensive members of her tribe, she becomes a marginally acceptable compromise choice, especially when you consider that a large part of the jury is made up of Savaii tribe members.
6) Brandon – Remember when Evil Loser Russell didn’t win either of his seasons and you found out afterward how much everyone hated him? We believe the same is true of his nephew, who oscillates between crying jags, guilt-ridden confessions, and ominous behavior around women. By the way, Survivor, stop casting Hantzes.
7) Cochran – He’s in a weird situation because since anyone would love to play against him in the final, he’s likely going to get propped along whether he’s deserving or not. There’s a decent chance he becomes the compromise elimination vote for the Upolu tribe since everyone despises him. No matter what happens, he has absolutely no chance to win this game. You, the reader, have as good a chance of winning as Cochran does, and you will have alienated fewer players. Let’s face it. All Cochran has cared about this season is making moves to make people remember him and set himself up as a villain for future All-Star seasons. Nice job, big guy.
8) Ozzy – He’s basically made it his mission to destroy all comers at Redemption Island, and his performance last week made it clear that he’s taking the challenges very seriously. We already know that Ozzy is a challenge stud. He’s proven it on every season where he’s played. His problem has always been strategy, and fortunately for him, that’s not a factor anymore in his game.
9) Dawn – Dawn has an outside chance at beating Ozzy at Redemption Island, but let’s be honest here. It’s going to take a special challenge for someone to knock him out of the game. Dawn seems to be a very nice person and she has some abilities when it comes to endurance, so she’s not lowest woman on the totem pole. If she can beat Ozzy, she stands a chance at besting any Upolu (or Cochran) who is sent to Redemption Island.
10) Whitney – Of the three former Savaii tribe members hanging out at Redemption Island, Whitney is the least likely to come away with a victory that will allow her to return to the game. She’s never shown much with regard to challenge ability, and she’s going up against a determined Ozzy and a surprisingly solid Dawn. See ya on the jury, Whitney. At least you’ll be able to hang out at Ponderosa with Keith.
As Te Tuna returns from Tribal Council, they all emphasize how much of a family they are. Family, family, family is all you hear from their mouths. Coach wants to be Boston Rob so bad he can taste it. All he needs is to be stronger, smarter and to have a personality transplant.
Ivy League-educated Cochran has all of a sudden realized that he is odd man out from this group. Nine days after abandoning one tribe for the other one, he’s discovered that he’s aligned himself with a very tight-knit tribe that was bent on the destruction of Savaii. And hey, guess who the only member of Savaii still left on the island is? Are we SURE this guy went to Harvard?