Survivor: Nicaragua Finale Recap - Part 1

What about me?

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

December 20, 2010

Bitch stole my shoes.

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Dan Lembo is a super-rich 63-year-old with worse knees than our beloved Mark Schlereth (who is approaching 30 knee surgeries). Dan has exerted roughly the same amount of effort in challenges that you, the reader, have. His continued presence in this game is quite possibly the greatest accomplishment in the history of the show. We aren’t even joking when we say that. Dan was on the short list for elimination after the very first challenge, and should have been strongly considered in every other one. He’s funny as hell, and has found a way to make himself valuable to others by offering up his vote in exchange for not having his own name written down. At the beginning of the show, Dan’s winning Survivor seemed about as likely as his chance at winning a marathon. No, he has a 1/20 shot at the money.

Kim is rooting for Fabio. David is rooting for Dan. Our tortoise vs. hare analogy may have a chance of actually coming true.

As for Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, he’s one of those reality show frauds who are predictable in their selfishness and treachery. He and Brenda formed what seemed like a tight alliance, yet when she was in need, she asked for his help and he rewarded her by voting against her. Once NaOnka quit, Sash had no allies left. Then, he made what we felt was a poor decision to join the alliance of Holly and Jane, two people he couldn’t beat in a vote. At this point, he started bragging about how he was completely in command of the game. This struck us as him trying to make himself believe it rather than it being any real evaluation of the situation. Sash isn’t hated, exactly, but we don’t think anyone genuinely likes him, either. It’s hard to win the game when faced with that situation.


We’ve learned that Chase Rice is a follower, and that he also lacks strategy or any real intuition when it comes to playing the game. He’s the total package of incompetent play. It seemed like he spent the first half of his season making decisions based on his crush on Brenda, and the second half of his season trying to deal with his mommy issues by latching onto Jane and Holly. He wants everyone else to make the tough decisions, and never wants to be the bad guy. It seems highly unlikely that anyone on the jury would give their vote to Chase with the way things have gone. You’d think his social game would have helped him, but he’s blown it big-time with a number of his peers. Chase wants to be liked more than he wants to win Survivor, yet his passive-aggressive behavior led to his alienating Fabio, Dan and Jane – just in the last episode.

The leaves us with Holly Hoffman, who is sadly the most likely to win Survivor this year. Let’s look at her highlight reel. She stole a guy’s shoes, filled them with sand, buried them at sea and somehow got away with it. She threatened to quit – twice – and then got preachy when other contestants talked about quitting. Finally, she was the driving force in betraying Jane at the last Tribal Council. She has done a couple of things to win respect, such as sacrificing her reward in order for the camp to have some bare necessities after a fire, and employing smart tactics by eliminating Brenda and Jane. She wants to think of herself as a good person, but will then do whatever it takes to get what she wants before justifying it to herself as a good and correct decision even if her ethics were in question.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6



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