By George Rose
June 30, 2009
Something wonderful happened a week ago. No, it was not the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. For those of you who have seen the movie, you probably disliked it as much as I did. Why did one of the Autobots have a gold tooth? Why did the 5-in-1 mega Decepticon, the ultimate climax of the movie, have giant metal testicles? Why is Shia LaBeouf still allowed to destroy beloved franchises? When these are the questions you are left with after seeing a movie, it's not a good sign. Unfortunately, the movie earned $200 million in its first five days, solidifying another sequel. That sequel will probably also make me long for the glory days of the Transformers cartoon. Hopefully Shia will damage more than just his hand during the filming of it.
In any case, around the time of the film's release, I was given a gift. My aunt, who works for Delta Airlines, knew I was having financial troubles and was working at a job I loathed, so said she would give me a "buddy pass" to go on vacation. This pass allows me to fly standby anywhere in the world for a very small fraction of what a regular plane ticket would cost. Because of this generous offer, I immediately quit my job at the dead-end restaurant I was working at and booked a flight to Greece, where my family is from. For the low price of $450, I get to fly round-trip to Athens. Oh yeah, and I'll be flying first class. I guess not all of life sucks as bad as Transformers: ROTF and Michael Bay.
Because my plane ticket is so cheap, I have decided to stay in Greece longer than any other vacation I've been lucky enough to take. My grandmother is feeding and housing me while I stay with her on the island of Chios, so other than this ticket all I have to pay for is booze and souvenirs. Factoring all this in, I have decided to stay for two months. Yup, two freaking months!!! The only downside to going away for two month to a Greek island is... no Internet. Of all the places to go, I chose a third-world island that serves as a vacation spot to the Greeks. Most people on the island live on the mainland for eight months of the year working, saving up money so they can veg-out on the nude beaches of Chios for the hot summer. There is only one town on the island and while it does have an Internet café, it is a half hour drive away. Cars are not as common there as they are here in the US.
I love my job writing the Take Five article for BOP, so when I found out that I would be leaving for two months I made sure to arrange for its continuation. I'd like to give a special thanks to David Mumpower and Kim Hollis for understanding these last minute plans and granting me the opportunity to bring the article with me to Greece. There will be some slight modifications, though, to accommodate my lack of casual internet access (which my American mind has become far too accustomed to).