The Amazing Race 13, Episode 7
My Nose Is on Fire
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
November 9, 2008
If you're wondering how Kelly looks at this point, well, there isn't an inch of her that isn't covered in paint. While preparing for her second leg, she bundles up like an exterminator, putting on a hat and covering her mouth with a bandana . This strategy would have succeeded if she had paid more attention to instructions. Alas, she's not that type of player. Rather than search to find a card with "Amazing Race" on it, she simply rips one down and runs back to her teammate, who bitterly informs her it's not the right one. She has to go back.
In the meantime, Team Babe Babe Babe has arrived, and the sight of Kelly undermines any confidence they may have had. Terence very nervously indicates that he'll do the Roadblock, but you can tell he's doing so in the same way that someone might volunteer to stick their head in a lion's mouth. He remembers an hour ago when he saw Kelly and she looked like a caucasian.
As Kelly embarks on a new strategy of running the paint gauntlet and returning with a single (wrong) card, Terence does what any rational person would do (if they read the clue correctly) and stays there until he finds the appropriate one. A shell-shocked Terence becomes the first person to go on the offensive, knocking people out of his way as he returns to home base.
Posted without comment: "I am spitting out color." --Terence
Dan is the sucker who agrees to do the Roadblock, and pretty much breezes through the task. In fact, he does so well that Andrew actually gets pelted about as badly as Dan does. Kelly's composure is pretty much non-existent at this point, especially after she face-plants into a paint puddle. She returns to her partner and informs her matter-of-factly that she can't do this...and there is ample evidence to support this assertion.
After about a half hour of Sherwin-Williams hell, the no-longer-gay divorcees finally have they epiphany that perhaps they should read the clue. Their stupid hurts us.
While Kelly finally retrieves the appropriate clue, the hundreds of paint bullies surrounding Christy notice that she has very little paint on her. Bombardment ensues.
Given their struggles with the competition, we are nothing short of giddy to see how Ken & Tina handle this. May a rainbow of Crayola undo their Amazing Race candidacy once and for all. As Ken attempts to complete the task, a funny situation develops outside as the taxi drivers of India determine that the divorcees are too unclean to give a ride.
A funny combination of editing occurs as Tina begins to receive the bombardment treament. At the same time, Kelly all but assaults a taxi, only to be told "no ticket". In the meantime, Ken finishes his task and he and Tina successfully hail a taxi. The women who started this leg eight minutes out of first have now fallen behind a team almost an hour behind them at the start of the leg. The moral of the story? Always carefully read the clues.