The Amazing Race 13, Episode 5
Do It Like a Madman
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
October 26, 2008
Hey, folks! Long time, no see! Reagen, Jim and Eric are doing such a bang-up job on the reality show recaps that we haven't done one in a long time. Reagen is getting married next week, so we're going to be handling Amazing Race duties for tonight and the month of November. Reagen is registered at Best Buy and NHL.com if you want to send gifts.
Previously on the Amazing Race, someone crashed a bike-type thing into a wall and someone else crashed a boat bike-type thing and may have broken an arm. Also, there were a bunch of dull couples who made absolutely no impression on us and one exceedingly annoying couple who merits special mention. We're not old enough to remember Ken Greene's NFL career (he's no Gary Hogeboom), but here's what we do know about him. He has lousy taste in women. Seriously, Hank Baskett called and said that Kendra from the Girls Next Door isn't that bad. Note to Hank: We have news for you. This is what she'll be like in 18 years and 20 plastic surgeries. What we have to say about Tina Greene is that while we normally don't take sides in relationship spats, their separation is clearly her fault. In fact, we ourselves are tempted to start a relationship with Tina only to cheat on her in the most devastating way possible to inflict as much pain as we can. We root against them, which is a problem because they've won consecutive legs.
We start with Ken & Tina planning a trip together. Where's Final Destination when you need it? They are first off for this leg, and discover that their destination is Cambodia. They will head to Siem Reap, where they will have to go to a roadside gas pumping station to find their next clue. They have $98 in cash for this race, and we suggest that Ken just stay where he is and spend it on strippers. They've heard that Terence & Sarah are close on their heels, but in reality they have a two hour and 16 minute head start on the competition. We don't know much about Terence & Sarah, but what do know is that they say "baby" way, way, way too much and that Sarah is the grown-up in the relationship. The reason they've been performing so well is that they have just the right combination of brains and brawn. She is a Wharton MBA and he is a successful marathon runner/instructor. We secretly suspect that their real power comes from her glasses and his hair.
Third out are Kelly & Christy, the only remaining all-girl team after Marisa & Brooke's merciful elimination last week. We don't know what to do with them any more than the producers do, which is why they only get the tag of "Divorcees". We think "Cheerleader Mean Girls" would have been a better description. What can we say about their racing skills so far? Christy is convinced that what has been holding them back so far is the fact that they've been caught up in "trying to go real fast". We think their new strategy of slowing down to a snail's pace will prove ineffective, but it's their call.