Warm Apple Pie
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1.
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Children of Men |
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This was the most awe-inspiring movie experience I have had since The Matrix in 1999. A masterpiece of dystopian chaos. |
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2.
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United 93 |
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Taut, gripping drama mesmerizes from start to finish. Cleverly filmed and masterfully thought out, this is the proverbial heartbreaking work of staggering genius. |
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3.
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Mission: Impossible III |
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This is the best action film since The Bourne Identity. |
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4.
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The Queen |
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Marvelous story exemplifies the dangers of quiet excellence as well as a sheltered life. |
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5.
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The Departed |
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Marvelous adaptation of equally wonderful Infernal Affairs is gritty character study of the constant gamesmanship of felons and cops. Feels like a Best Picture winner. |
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6.
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V for Vendetta |
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Anarchy never sounded so eloquent. V is the most gripping movie icon since The Bride. Warning for Alan Moore fans: resembles the novel in name and tone only. |
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7.
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The Descent |
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White hot horror flick reinvigorates the genre with sizzling combo of cerebral fear and shocking twists. |
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8.
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Cars |
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Sentimental celebration of days long gone achieves the type of emotional resonance that even several past Pixar films have never managed. |
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9.
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We Are Marshall |
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Impacting story delivers the most uplifting movie-going experience in recent memory. Highly recommended, even for non-football fans. |
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10.
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The Last King of Scotland |
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Impeccable performances make this gripping movie one of the best heavily fictionalized biopics ever. |
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11.
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The Good Shepherd |
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Measured direction and superlative acting makes over-long movie feel 90 minutes shorter. Don't let the daunting run time dissuade you. |
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12.
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Akeelah and the Bee |
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Impossibly charming story never surprises but consistently satisfies. |
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13.
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Night at the Museum |
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Inspired comedy provides the type of wholesome, satisfying entertainment that 2006 cinema sorely lacked otherwise. It's the proverbial 'fun for all ages' title of the year. |
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14.
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Happy Feet |
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Absolutely adorable penguin romcom has the laughs Cars lacks but it doesn't quite have the soul. |
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15.
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Over the Hedge |
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Charming comedy proves to be the best DreamWorks Animation production thus far. Sadly, that still places it on the bottom of the Pixar rung. |
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16.
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A Prairie Home Companion |
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Fitting end to Altman's storied career is a warm, congenial outing that tells several great stories at once. |
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17.
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Miami Vice |
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A sleek follow-up to Collateral, Miami Vice perfectly encapsulates the darker undertones of the frequently misunderstood TV series. And Naomie Harris is wonderful. |
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18.
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Thank You for Smoking |
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Ridiculously witty movie borders on being too sleek for its own good, but pulls it off with grrrreat performances. |
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19.
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Accepted |
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Will serve as Real Genius for the average person for years to come. Accepted is simple, but it's perfect at what it wants to be. Such a pleasant surprise. |
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20.
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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest |
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I have seen comments that it's too slow but I couldn't disagree any more strongly. This is the rarest of rare worthy sequels to an instant classic. |
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21.
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Invincible |
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Fantastic story heroicizes not just Vince Papale but also Dick Vermeil. As a huge fan of Vermeil, I'm probably biased to like this one more than most. |
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22.
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Brick |
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Trippy noir is inventive, daring and ultimately satisfying although it is a bit too in love with its own cleverness. |
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23.
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The Pursuit of Happyness |
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Will Smith offers his best performance to date in this fascinating tale of a struggling father's conviction to succeed and provide for his child. |
Honeymoon
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24.
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Dave Chappelle's Block Party |
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Wonderful celebration of life; a movie I would expect virtually everyone reading this to enjoy. |
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25.
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Inside Man |
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Taut, impeccably acted drama is undone just a bit by a weak ending. |
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26.
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Stick It |
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Warm and witty B-movie celebration of teen spirit consistently entertains. |
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27.
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Lucky Number Slevin |
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Sleek underworld caper is a movie Guy Ritchie would be proud to claim as his own. |
Prom Night
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28.
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Little Miss Sunshine |
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Subversive tale about a dysfunctional family's cross country trip is erratic but oftentimes hilarious. |
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29.
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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby |
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Will Ferrell's brand of comedy, the non-screaming stuff, is impossible to quantify but I find it hysterical. Anchorman fans should eat this up. |
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30.
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Rocky Balboa |
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Fitting finale redeems the Rocky franchise after embarrasing fifth movie. Stallone did something impressive here. |
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31.
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Underworld: Evolution |
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While not for everyone, I found it sleek and energetic with some impeccably implemented action sequences. |
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32.
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Scoop |
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Woody Allen the director should have toned down Woody Allen the actor but this is one of the wittiest movies of 2006. |
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33.
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The Blood Diamond |
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Dark, depressing tale is oftentimes difficult to watch but engrossing nonetheless. |
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34.
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Clerks II |
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Every bit as messy and uneven as Mallrats, it still proves consistently hysterical. |
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35.
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Through the Fire |
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This marvelous documentary about the life of a high school basketball star focuses upon Sebastian Telfair, but it's older brothers Jamel Thomas and Daniel Turner who shine through as wonderful people |
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36.
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Beerfest |
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I laughed. A lot. Then again, I'm a huge Broken Lizard fan. |
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37.
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Glory Road |
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Paint by numbers formula and a heapin' helpin' of revisionist history does not stand in the way of fully functional feel good jocktainment. |
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38.
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Night Watch |
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Splendid concept gets a bit lost in translation at times, The storyline's resolution is particularly satisfying, though. |
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39.
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The Guardian |
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I refuse to apologize yet again for liking Kevin Costner. He continues to choose scripts I enjoy. |
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40.
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The Illusionist |
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Shiny cinematography and an engaging story overcome somewhat laborious pacing. |
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41.
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Snakes on a Plane |
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I got what I paid for. Mr. Samuel Jackson is simply the coolest actor in Hollywood. |
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42.
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My Super Ex-Girlfriend |
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Delightful fluff doesn't re-invent the wheel, but it does offer consistent hilarity. |
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43.
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Idlewild |
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Fun musical offers great combination of prohibition era story and grrrrreat music. |
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44.
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Marie Antoinette |
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Spirited take on the lifestyle of a royal is a bit melodramatic at times, but Kirsten Dunst is impossibly winning. And the I Want Candy scene is grrrreat. |
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45.
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Jet Li's Fearless |
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Jet Li is the anti-Robin Williams. Every project he chooses is excellent. If this is truly his last martial arts epic, it's a fitting send-off. |
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46.
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Imagine Me and You |
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Tender romantic comedy features superlative cast as well as that dry English wit I treasure. |
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47.
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Aquamarine |
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Effervescent story and spirited cast turn mundane premise into lively entertainment. |
Third Date
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48.
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Who Killed the Electric Car? |
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This documentary will turn your stomach, but there isn't anything in it you didn't already get from 60 Minutes. |
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49.
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Pan's Labyrinth |
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I wanted to like this movie so much more than I actually did. It was just too violent and made a poor decision about where the focus should be between the war and the fantasy world. |
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50.
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John Tucker Must Die |
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Surprisingly charming teen flick is a much sunnier production than the title would logically imply. |
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51.
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Gridiron Gang |
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The Rock gets to don jersey #94 one last time, and that's more than enough for me. |
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52.
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Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny |
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Rocks harder than any movie has rocked since the days of Bill and Ted. Rock on! |
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53.
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Flags of Our Fathers |
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Fascinating treatise on how we define heroism loses steam midway through. |
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54.
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The Lake House |
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A lot of promise is shown in the first hour, but the ending is cringe-inducing. |
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55.
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Stranger Than Fiction |
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Cute premise never really goes anywhere, but it delivers exactly what is promised. |
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56.
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The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift |
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Much closer in terms of quality to the original than its heinous follow-up. |
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57.
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This Film Is Not Yet Rated |
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If you don't hate the business practices of the MPAA after watching this movie, you must work for them. |
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58.
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Casino Royale |
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Bond as a thug is a strange choice and the movie's ending is overblown but this is still a great action flick. |
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59.
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Goal! The Dream Begins |
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Formula sports story shows surprising amount of warmth and depth. A pleasant surprise. |
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60.
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Flushed Away |
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The worst Aardman film is still not bad, just not particularly humorous. The characters are well intended, but I expect a better story from this team. |
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61.
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Art School Confidential |
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Successfully subverts expectations at multiple points and offers very solid performances for a movie of this ilk. |
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62.
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The Nightmare Before Christmas 3-D |
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This was the first time I had ever seen it. While I was disappointed in the "3-D enhancements", the story was entertaining enough. |
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63.
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Hostel |
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If you like your movies violent, dark and disturbing, you've just hit the motherlode. |
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64.
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The Prestige |
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Clunkier and less satisfying than The Illusionist, this tale of revenge involves too many moving parts, most of them unbelievable. |
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65.
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Hoot |
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Hoot is generally charming and its heart is in the right place. More adult audiences might find it too basic, though. |
First Kiss
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66.
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Slither |
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I liked it, but not as much as I had hoped. It's no Tremors, that's for sure. |
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67.
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The Devil Wears Prada |
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Forget Meryl Streep. Anne Hathaway is exceptional here. The movie is a bit too girly for me, but its quality is unmistakable. |
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68.
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Ice Age: The Meltdown |
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The sequel is night and day better than the deeply flawed original. The key is focusing upon the animals and blowing off the human characters altogether. |
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69.
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Volver |
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Well acted drama's twists are a bit too obvious and its conflicts are a bit too easily resolved. |
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70.
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Saw III |
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Little more than a compilation of pseudo-snuff films but the ending is grrrreat. |
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71.
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National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj |
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I realize you were expecting this to be much lower but God help me, Kal Penn makes me laugh. A lot. |
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72.
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Borat |
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While Borat is less satisfying than the lavish critical praise would indicate, it's unquestionably a very funny albeit erratic movie. |
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73.
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Poseidon |
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Freakishly loyal adaptation hits all of the original's high points while managing several clever new wrinkles. |
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74.
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Failure to Launch |
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The movie proves to be relatively charming, an improved version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, if you will. |
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75.
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The Lost City |
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Andy Garcia is too close to his personal project to trim the fat, but the story and music are outstanding and Bill Murray is hilarious. |
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76.
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Deja Vu |
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Much purer sci-fi movie than advertised, it offers several good performances but little memorable in terms of story. |
Digits
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77.
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Kinky Boots |
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Well natured britcom is slight but ultimately satisfying. It's another Waking Ned Devine. |
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78.
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Just My Luck |
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I expected to dislike this worse than I did. It's rather sweet albeit it painfully corny. |
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79.
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Grandma's Boy |
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Linda Cardellini's rendition of Push It makes up for 75 minutes of mediocre frivolity. |
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80.
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Doogal |
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Colorful, heartwarming family fare works well. Note: the British version available on DVD is vastly superior to the American, Jimmy Fallon one. |
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81.
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When a Stranger Calls |
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Some gripping sequences hide many of the weaknesses, but make no mistake on the point. It's plot-thin. |
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82.
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Superman Returns |
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Bryan Singer and X3 both would have been better served if he had directed it instead. The Superman update is deadly dull. |
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83.
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End of the Spear |
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Amazing true story comes across as overly preachy at times, but its heart is definitely in the right place. |
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84.
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Idiocracy |
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When it's funny, it's a belly buster. When it's stupid, you resent having to watch it. This is the best example of inconsistently hilarious I have ever discovered. |
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85.
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The Shaggy Dog |
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What can I say? I am a cat person. The Toy Story reference is great stuff, though. |
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86.
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The Ant Bully |
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I am assured this is not an inferior re-make of either Antz or A Bug's Life, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it. |
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87.
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She's the Man |
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Well intended teen comedy is a bit too silly for my tastes but I suspect most girls would love it. |
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88.
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Apocalypto |
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The movie is ponderous at times and too violent throughout but the beehive and eclipse scenes are spectacular cinematic accomplishments. |
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89.
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Notes on a Scandal |
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I don't dispute that the performances are all great, but the movie itself is too quirky and ultimately unsatisfying. |
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90.
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The Last Kiss |
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I love the cast and Casey Affleck is outstanding, but the movie doesn't have many selling points otherwise. |
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91.
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The Hills Have Eyes |
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I wasn't scared as much as I was dismayed. Hillbillies Gone Wild is a fun premise, but the movie loses steam at several points. |
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92.
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Winter Passing |
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Zooey Deschanel is wonderful, but the film ultimately achieves nothing and leaves a void of emptiness. Mayhap that's the intention, but I didn't enjoy the exercise. |
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93.
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Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior |
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People are obviously going to watch this for the action sequences but I still crack up at the thought that the villains steal a man's elephant. That's EVIL. |
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94.
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Eight Below |
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This is a very good movie if you can handle the insane tension. As an animal lover, it was far too much for me. |
Can't get the bra unhooked
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95.
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Click |
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Adam Sandler's foray into preachiness comes at the expense of real laughs. |
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96.
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The Break-Up |
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Much darker than the advertising would acknowledge, The Break-Up fails to have enough comedy hijinks to offset its own bitter cynicism. |
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97.
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Something New |
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I adore Sanaa Lathan, but I wish she would pick less predictable scripts. Rent Love & Basketball instead. |
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98.
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning |
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I love some of the tie-ins with the last TCM, but it's still more saturated horror slayage. |
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99.
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American Dreamz |
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Mandy Moore and Hugh Grant both offer impeccable performances but the movie is too dark and too slight. |
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100.
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Big Momma's House 2 |
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This is easily the best of the 2006 Fat Suit films. That's an honor on the level of being the best N'Sync song. |
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101.
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The Quiet |
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Twisted tale of incest and hate plays out like Dynasty 2006, but it lacks the appropriate level of entertainment. |
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102.
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Scary Movie 4 |
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Less consistent than Scary Movie 3, it still has its moments. |
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103.
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A Scanner Darkly |
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I don't understand a lot of what happens in this movie but Woody Harrelson and Robert Downey Jr. are hysterical in it. |
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104.
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The Good German |
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Disappointing Casablanca wannabe wholly wastes the talents of gifted cast. |
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105.
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Tamara |
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Titular lead actress is fantastic in the role, but the horror flick suffers from a preponderance of silly sequences, many of which encourage unintentional laughter rather than fear. |
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106.
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Nanny McPhee |
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Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I had kids. It seemed transparent as well as laborious. |
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107.
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Unaccompanied Minors |
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Stubbornly childish movie wants to be Breakfast Club for tweeners. There aren't enough laughs but it does have a heart and a satisfying ending. |
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108.
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The Omen |
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Great casting cannot overcome a series of stolid movie cliches. |
Blind Date
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109.
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Man of the Year |
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Just once, I would like to see a Hollywood political movie demonstrate subtlety. Just once. |
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110.
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Take the Lead |
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I am just not a dance movie kind of guy. |
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111.
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Running Scared |
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The wife's subplot is a much better movie than the Paul Walker action flick surrounding it. |
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112.
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The Night Listener |
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Pointless drama will be long forgotten in no time. |
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113.
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Freedomland |
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Pointless melodrama is amplified by Samuel L. Jackson's best performance in recent memory. |
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114.
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16 Blocks |
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I adore Mos Def but his vocal inflections in 16 Blocks made me want to slap the taste out of his mouth. |
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115.
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Annapolis |
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Imagine a Conan O'Brien's 'If They Mated' of Rocky and Top Gun. Yeah, it's not pretty. |
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116.
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Tristan and Isolde |
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Walks the line between Gladiator and Romeo + Juliet. Doomed romance never felt so cliche. Or bellicose. |
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117.
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The Fountain |
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I am certain that there is a blueprint for this movie that makes sense in Darren Aronofsky's mind, but he failed to film it. |
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118.
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Eragon |
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Jeremy Irons tries, God love him, but this is a mistake. The casting department wanted to find another Hayden Christensen. Be careful what you wish for. |
Dumped
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119.
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World Trade Center |
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Decent first hour comes undone due to traumatizing second hour and no, I don't mean because of the circumstances. What a manipulative piece of claptrap. |
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120.
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Step Up |
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She is now carrying his child. It is the magic of the dance. It's sad when a 60 second Simpsons bit is better than a feature length movie. |
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121.
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Dreamgirls |
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The disconnect between this movie's hype and its actual quality is astonishing. Jamie Foxx, an actor I adore, is terrible here and Jennifer Hudson has no business winning -any- acting awards. |
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122.
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Employee of the Month |
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I give bonus points for delivering exactly the movie promised by the title as well as the commercials. But it's still not funny. |
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123.
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Basic Instinct 2 |
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This one earns its rightful spot in the Pointless Sequel Hall of Fame. |
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124.
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Crank |
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Congratulations, producers of Crank! You will the no-prize for having the most idiotic sex scene since Enemy at the Gates! |
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125.
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X-Men: The Last Stand |
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The entire second half of this movie is an unmitigated disaster. It's easily the worst in the franchise, and I say that as someone who dislikes the original. |
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126.
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The Wild |
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CGI Lion King wannabe is neither dramatic more amusing. 2006 was a disastrous year for CGI family films. |
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127.
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Monster House |
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Too macabre for kids and nowhere near entertaining enough for adults. That's a bad combination. |
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128.
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Last Holiday |
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Queen Latifah's constant barrage of woeful comedies make me root for coup d'etat and a new ruler in the field of rapper turned Roseanne wannabe. |
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129.
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Babel |
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Crash wannabe does nothing but tell sad, pointless stories. It's self-indulgent and not the least bit entertaining. Easily the worst Best Picture nominee. |
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130.
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Little Children |
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I am reserving an entry for this in the 'Worst Narration' Hall of Fame. The tone is completely wrong throughout the movie. |
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131.
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The Nativity Story |
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Self-satisfied movie features the most overblown soundtrack in recent memory. There is simply no life to this production. |
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132.
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Hoodwinked! |
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Cute premise lacks punch. This one is solely for juvenile audiences. |
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133.
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The Da Vinci Code |
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Akiva Goldsman and Ron Howard somehow managed to mess up a storyline I had previously considered impossible to mess up. |
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134.
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Zoom |
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Tim Allen is in Galaxy Quest mode, but the childish nature of the project proves to be its undoing. Also, I felt terrible for Courteney Cox. |
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135.
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The Pink Panther |
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It could have been worse. Not by much, though. |
Drunk Dialing
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136.
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Firewall |
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Harrison Ford did a better version of this movie in 1988. Rent Frantic instead. |
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137.
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Phat Girlz |
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I cannot in all sincerity say this is a good movie, but Monique's heart is in the right place. It scores higher than some due to its sunny disposition. |
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138.
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Black Christmas |
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Accidentally doubles as a quickie See No Evil sequel...and that's not a good thing. |
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139.
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The Road to Guantanamo |
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Enemies of Michael Moore have a much richer target here. Road To Guantanamo is a shamelessly one-sided farce of a political re-enactment. |
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140.
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The Black Dahlia |
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Unquestionably the most disappointing title of 2006, the tone here is all wrong and the plot twists are craptacular nonsense. |
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141.
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Fast Food Nation |
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Disgusting, sanctimonious trifle fails on every level. |
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142.
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Final Destination 3 |
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There is three month old milk in my fridge that is fresher than this concept. |
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143.
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Wordplay |
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Your time would be better spent doing a couple of crossword puzzles instead. This is the most boring movie of 2006. |
Cheated On
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144.
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See No Evil |
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Kane does nothing different than his wrestling schtick. The movie comes across as a student film with a C- grade rather than a major studio release. |
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145.
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Stay Alive |
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Killer concept (no pun intended) fails completely in execution. |
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146.
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RV |
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Imagine National Lampoon's Vacation with today's Chevy Chase instead of the funny one from 1983. |
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147.
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The Covenant |
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How is this *not* a Uwe Boll production? If you want better acting, go see a high school play. |
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148.
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The Grudge 2 |
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In a year of indistinguishable horror movies, this inept sequel stands out in its heinousness. |
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149.
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The Wicker Man |
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This might be Nicholas Cage's worst movie ever, which is really saying something. |
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150.
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Silent Hill |
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I love the videogames but this mess of an adaptation is incoherent bordering on impenetrable. |
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151.
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Pulse |
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Even *I* don't love Kristen Bell this much. A very good J-horror movie was adapted into an abominable Hollywood production. |
STD
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152.
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Date Movie |
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This is not a satire. It's an insipid recreation of several popular movie scenes. You'll find more wit and creativity in an episode of Gilligan's Island. |
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153.
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Lady in the Water |
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The character of the critic might be the worst of the 2000s to date. Just plain embarrassing. |
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154.
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The Benchwarmers |
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Probably would have ranked even lower if I had suffered through the whole thing. The only 2006 release I couldn't finish. |
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155.
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Nacho Libre |
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I loathed this movie with the fire of 1,000 suns. |
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156.
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Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion |
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Most unintentionally funny moment: Daughter confesses to Mother that boyfriend beats her. Mother tells daughter to stop making him mad. This really happens. |
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157.
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Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector |
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A disgrace, pure and simple. Watch Larry interact with various ethnicities! And if you like scatalogical humor, boy howdy! |
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158.
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BloodRayne |
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Imagine the worst editing job in the history of cinema. Alternately, just rent the movie and you won't have to imagine it. But no, I am not advising you to rent it. |
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159.
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Ultraviolet |
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I am astonished by the fact that the director who created the wonderful Equilibrium could fail so completely in his sophomore outing. Stands the test of time as Worst Movie of the Year. |