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The Big Board
for David Mumpower

Big Board Year:

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Warm Apple Pie
1. Children of Men
    This was the most awe-inspiring movie experience I have had since The Matrix in 1999. A masterpiece of dystopian chaos.
2. United 93
    Taut, gripping drama mesmerizes from start to finish. Cleverly filmed and masterfully thought out, this is the proverbial heartbreaking work of staggering genius.
3. Mission: Impossible III
    This is the best action film since The Bourne Identity.
4. The Queen
    Marvelous story exemplifies the dangers of quiet excellence as well as a sheltered life.
5. The Departed
    Marvelous adaptation of equally wonderful Infernal Affairs is gritty character study of the constant gamesmanship of felons and cops. Feels like a Best Picture winner.
6. V for Vendetta
    Anarchy never sounded so eloquent. V is the most gripping movie icon since The Bride. Warning for Alan Moore fans: resembles the novel in name and tone only.
7. The Descent
    White hot horror flick reinvigorates the genre with sizzling combo of cerebral fear and shocking twists.
8. Cars
    Sentimental celebration of days long gone achieves the type of emotional resonance that even several past Pixar films have never managed.
9. We Are Marshall
    Impacting story delivers the most uplifting movie-going experience in recent memory. Highly recommended, even for non-football fans.
10. The Last King of Scotland
    Impeccable performances make this gripping movie one of the best heavily fictionalized biopics ever.
11. The Good Shepherd
    Measured direction and superlative acting makes over-long movie feel 90 minutes shorter. Don't let the daunting run time dissuade you.
12. Akeelah and the Bee
    Impossibly charming story never surprises but consistently satisfies.
13. Night at the Museum
    Inspired comedy provides the type of wholesome, satisfying entertainment that 2006 cinema sorely lacked otherwise. It's the proverbial 'fun for all ages' title of the year.
14. Happy Feet
    Absolutely adorable penguin romcom has the laughs Cars lacks but it doesn't quite have the soul.
15. Over the Hedge
    Charming comedy proves to be the best DreamWorks Animation production thus far. Sadly, that still places it on the bottom of the Pixar rung.
16. A Prairie Home Companion
    Fitting end to Altman's storied career is a warm, congenial outing that tells several great stories at once.
17. Miami Vice
    A sleek follow-up to Collateral, Miami Vice perfectly encapsulates the darker undertones of the frequently misunderstood TV series. And Naomie Harris is wonderful.
18. Thank You for Smoking
    Ridiculously witty movie borders on being too sleek for its own good, but pulls it off with grrrreat performances.
19. Accepted
    Will serve as Real Genius for the average person for years to come. Accepted is simple, but it's perfect at what it wants to be. Such a pleasant surprise.
20. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
    I have seen comments that it's too slow but I couldn't disagree any more strongly. This is the rarest of rare worthy sequels to an instant classic.
21. Invincible
    Fantastic story heroicizes not just Vince Papale but also Dick Vermeil. As a huge fan of Vermeil, I'm probably biased to like this one more than most.
22. Brick
    Trippy noir is inventive, daring and ultimately satisfying although it is a bit too in love with its own cleverness.
23. The Pursuit of Happyness
    Will Smith offers his best performance to date in this fascinating tale of a struggling father's conviction to succeed and provide for his child.

24. Dave Chappelle's Block Party
    Wonderful celebration of life; a movie I would expect virtually everyone reading this to enjoy.
25. Inside Man
    Taut, impeccably acted drama is undone just a bit by a weak ending.
26. Stick It
    Warm and witty B-movie celebration of teen spirit consistently entertains.
27. Lucky Number Slevin
    Sleek underworld caper is a movie Guy Ritchie would be proud to claim as his own.

Prom Night
28. Little Miss Sunshine
    Subversive tale about a dysfunctional family's cross country trip is erratic but oftentimes hilarious.
29. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
    Will Ferrell's brand of comedy, the non-screaming stuff, is impossible to quantify but I find it hysterical. Anchorman fans should eat this up.
30. Rocky Balboa
    Fitting finale redeems the Rocky franchise after embarrasing fifth movie. Stallone did something impressive here.
31. Underworld: Evolution
    While not for everyone, I found it sleek and energetic with some impeccably implemented action sequences.
32. Scoop
    Woody Allen the director should have toned down Woody Allen the actor but this is one of the wittiest movies of 2006.
33. The Blood Diamond
    Dark, depressing tale is oftentimes difficult to watch but engrossing nonetheless.
34. Clerks II
    Every bit as messy and uneven as Mallrats, it still proves consistently hysterical.
35. Through the Fire
    This marvelous documentary about the life of a high school basketball star focuses upon Sebastian Telfair, but it's older brothers Jamel Thomas and Daniel Turner who shine through as wonderful people
36. Beerfest
    I laughed. A lot. Then again, I'm a huge Broken Lizard fan.
37. Glory Road
    Paint by numbers formula and a heapin' helpin' of revisionist history does not stand in the way of fully functional feel good jocktainment.
38. Night Watch
    Splendid concept gets a bit lost in translation at times, The storyline's resolution is particularly satisfying, though.
39. The Guardian
    I refuse to apologize yet again for liking Kevin Costner. He continues to choose scripts I enjoy.
40. The Illusionist
    Shiny cinematography and an engaging story overcome somewhat laborious pacing.
41. Snakes on a Plane
    I got what I paid for. Mr. Samuel Jackson is simply the coolest actor in Hollywood.
42. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
    Delightful fluff doesn't re-invent the wheel, but it does offer consistent hilarity.
43. Idlewild
    Fun musical offers great combination of prohibition era story and grrrrreat music.
44. Marie Antoinette
    Spirited take on the lifestyle of a royal is a bit melodramatic at times, but Kirsten Dunst is impossibly winning. And the I Want Candy scene is grrrreat.
45. Jet Li's Fearless
    Jet Li is the anti-Robin Williams. Every project he chooses is excellent. If this is truly his last martial arts epic, it's a fitting send-off.
46. Imagine Me and You
    Tender romantic comedy features superlative cast as well as that dry English wit I treasure.
47. Aquamarine
    Effervescent story and spirited cast turn mundane premise into lively entertainment.

Third Date
48. Who Killed the Electric Car?
    This documentary will turn your stomach, but there isn't anything in it you didn't already get from 60 Minutes.
49. Pan's Labyrinth
    I wanted to like this movie so much more than I actually did. It was just too violent and made a poor decision about where the focus should be between the war and the fantasy world.
50. John Tucker Must Die
    Surprisingly charming teen flick is a much sunnier production than the title would logically imply.
51. Gridiron Gang
    The Rock gets to don jersey #94 one last time, and that's more than enough for me.
52. Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
    Rocks harder than any movie has rocked since the days of Bill and Ted. Rock on!
53. Flags of Our Fathers
    Fascinating treatise on how we define heroism loses steam midway through.
54. The Lake House
    A lot of promise is shown in the first hour, but the ending is cringe-inducing.
55. Stranger Than Fiction
    Cute premise never really goes anywhere, but it delivers exactly what is promised.
56. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
    Much closer in terms of quality to the original than its heinous follow-up.
57. This Film Is Not Yet Rated
    If you don't hate the business practices of the MPAA after watching this movie, you must work for them.
58. Casino Royale
    Bond as a thug is a strange choice and the movie's ending is overblown but this is still a great action flick.
59. Goal! The Dream Begins
    Formula sports story shows surprising amount of warmth and depth. A pleasant surprise.
60. Flushed Away
    The worst Aardman film is still not bad, just not particularly humorous. The characters are well intended, but I expect a better story from this team.
61. Art School Confidential
    Successfully subverts expectations at multiple points and offers very solid performances for a movie of this ilk.
62. The Nightmare Before Christmas 3-D
    This was the first time I had ever seen it. While I was disappointed in the "3-D enhancements", the story was entertaining enough.
63. Hostel
    If you like your movies violent, dark and disturbing, you've just hit the motherlode.
64. The Prestige
    Clunkier and less satisfying than The Illusionist, this tale of revenge involves too many moving parts, most of them unbelievable.
65. Hoot
    Hoot is generally charming and its heart is in the right place. More adult audiences might find it too basic, though.

First Kiss
66. Slither
    I liked it, but not as much as I had hoped. It's no Tremors, that's for sure.
67. The Devil Wears Prada
    Forget Meryl Streep. Anne Hathaway is exceptional here. The movie is a bit too girly for me, but its quality is unmistakable.
68. Ice Age: The Meltdown
    The sequel is night and day better than the deeply flawed original. The key is focusing upon the animals and blowing off the human characters altogether.
69. Volver
    Well acted drama's twists are a bit too obvious and its conflicts are a bit too easily resolved.
70. Saw III
    Little more than a compilation of pseudo-snuff films but the ending is grrrreat.
71. National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj
    I realize you were expecting this to be much lower but God help me, Kal Penn makes me laugh. A lot.
72. Borat
    While Borat is less satisfying than the lavish critical praise would indicate, it's unquestionably a very funny albeit erratic movie.
73. Poseidon
    Freakishly loyal adaptation hits all of the original's high points while managing several clever new wrinkles.
74. Failure to Launch
    The movie proves to be relatively charming, an improved version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, if you will.
75. The Lost City
    Andy Garcia is too close to his personal project to trim the fat, but the story and music are outstanding and Bill Murray is hilarious.
76. Deja Vu
    Much purer sci-fi movie than advertised, it offers several good performances but little memorable in terms of story.

77. Kinky Boots
    Well natured britcom is slight but ultimately satisfying. It's another Waking Ned Devine.
78. Just My Luck
    I expected to dislike this worse than I did. It's rather sweet albeit it painfully corny.
79. Grandma's Boy
    Linda Cardellini's rendition of Push It makes up for 75 minutes of mediocre frivolity.
80. Doogal
    Colorful, heartwarming family fare works well. Note: the British version available on DVD is vastly superior to the American, Jimmy Fallon one.
81. When a Stranger Calls
    Some gripping sequences hide many of the weaknesses, but make no mistake on the point. It's plot-thin.
82. Superman Returns
    Bryan Singer and X3 both would have been better served if he had directed it instead. The Superman update is deadly dull.
83. End of the Spear
    Amazing true story comes across as overly preachy at times, but its heart is definitely in the right place.
84. Idiocracy
    When it's funny, it's a belly buster. When it's stupid, you resent having to watch it. This is the best example of inconsistently hilarious I have ever discovered.
85. The Shaggy Dog
    What can I say? I am a cat person. The Toy Story reference is great stuff, though.
86. The Ant Bully
    I am assured this is not an inferior re-make of either Antz or A Bug's Life, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
87. She's the Man
    Well intended teen comedy is a bit too silly for my tastes but I suspect most girls would love it.
88. Apocalypto
    The movie is ponderous at times and too violent throughout but the beehive and eclipse scenes are spectacular cinematic accomplishments.
89. Notes on a Scandal
    I don't dispute that the performances are all great, but the movie itself is too quirky and ultimately unsatisfying.
90. The Last Kiss
    I love the cast and Casey Affleck is outstanding, but the movie doesn't have many selling points otherwise.
91. The Hills Have Eyes
    I wasn't scared as much as I was dismayed. Hillbillies Gone Wild is a fun premise, but the movie loses steam at several points.
92. Winter Passing
    Zooey Deschanel is wonderful, but the film ultimately achieves nothing and leaves a void of emptiness. Mayhap that's the intention, but I didn't enjoy the exercise.
93. Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior
    People are obviously going to watch this for the action sequences but I still crack up at the thought that the villains steal a man's elephant. That's EVIL.
94. Eight Below
    This is a very good movie if you can handle the insane tension. As an animal lover, it was far too much for me.

Can't get the bra unhooked
95. Click
    Adam Sandler's foray into preachiness comes at the expense of real laughs.
96. The Break-Up
    Much darker than the advertising would acknowledge, The Break-Up fails to have enough comedy hijinks to offset its own bitter cynicism.
97. Something New
    I adore Sanaa Lathan, but I wish she would pick less predictable scripts. Rent Love & Basketball instead.
98. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
    I love some of the tie-ins with the last TCM, but it's still more saturated horror slayage.
99. American Dreamz
    Mandy Moore and Hugh Grant both offer impeccable performances but the movie is too dark and too slight.
100. Big Momma's House 2
    This is easily the best of the 2006 Fat Suit films. That's an honor on the level of being the best N'Sync song.
101. The Quiet
    Twisted tale of incest and hate plays out like Dynasty 2006, but it lacks the appropriate level of entertainment.
102. Scary Movie 4
    Less consistent than Scary Movie 3, it still has its moments.
103. A Scanner Darkly
    I don't understand a lot of what happens in this movie but Woody Harrelson and Robert Downey Jr. are hysterical in it.
104. The Good German
    Disappointing Casablanca wannabe wholly wastes the talents of gifted cast.
105. Tamara
    Titular lead actress is fantastic in the role, but the horror flick suffers from a preponderance of silly sequences, many of which encourage unintentional laughter rather than fear.
106. Nanny McPhee
    Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I had kids. It seemed transparent as well as laborious.
107. Unaccompanied Minors
    Stubbornly childish movie wants to be Breakfast Club for tweeners. There aren't enough laughs but it does have a heart and a satisfying ending.
108. The Omen
    Great casting cannot overcome a series of stolid movie cliches.

Blind Date
109. Man of the Year
    Just once, I would like to see a Hollywood political movie demonstrate subtlety. Just once.
110. Take the Lead
    I am just not a dance movie kind of guy.
111. Running Scared
    The wife's subplot is a much better movie than the Paul Walker action flick surrounding it.
112. The Night Listener
    Pointless drama will be long forgotten in no time.
113. Freedomland
    Pointless melodrama is amplified by Samuel L. Jackson's best performance in recent memory.
114. 16 Blocks
    I adore Mos Def but his vocal inflections in 16 Blocks made me want to slap the taste out of his mouth.
115. Annapolis
    Imagine a Conan O'Brien's 'If They Mated' of Rocky and Top Gun. Yeah, it's not pretty.
116. Tristan and Isolde
    Walks the line between Gladiator and Romeo + Juliet. Doomed romance never felt so cliche. Or bellicose.
117. The Fountain
    I am certain that there is a blueprint for this movie that makes sense in Darren Aronofsky's mind, but he failed to film it.
118. Eragon
    Jeremy Irons tries, God love him, but this is a mistake. The casting department wanted to find another Hayden Christensen. Be careful what you wish for.

119. World Trade Center
    Decent first hour comes undone due to traumatizing second hour and no, I don't mean because of the circumstances. What a manipulative piece of claptrap.
120. Step Up
    She is now carrying his child. It is the magic of the dance. It's sad when a 60 second Simpsons bit is better than a feature length movie.
121. Dreamgirls
    The disconnect between this movie's hype and its actual quality is astonishing. Jamie Foxx, an actor I adore, is terrible here and Jennifer Hudson has no business winning -any- acting awards.
122. Employee of the Month
    I give bonus points for delivering exactly the movie promised by the title as well as the commercials. But it's still not funny.
123. Basic Instinct 2
    This one earns its rightful spot in the Pointless Sequel Hall of Fame.
124. Crank
    Congratulations, producers of Crank! You will the no-prize for having the most idiotic sex scene since Enemy at the Gates!
125. X-Men: The Last Stand
    The entire second half of this movie is an unmitigated disaster. It's easily the worst in the franchise, and I say that as someone who dislikes the original.
126. The Wild
    CGI Lion King wannabe is neither dramatic more amusing. 2006 was a disastrous year for CGI family films.
127. Monster House
    Too macabre for kids and nowhere near entertaining enough for adults. That's a bad combination.
128. Last Holiday
    Queen Latifah's constant barrage of woeful comedies make me root for coup d'etat and a new ruler in the field of rapper turned Roseanne wannabe.
129. Babel
    Crash wannabe does nothing but tell sad, pointless stories. It's self-indulgent and not the least bit entertaining. Easily the worst Best Picture nominee.
130. Little Children
    I am reserving an entry for this in the 'Worst Narration' Hall of Fame. The tone is completely wrong throughout the movie.
131. The Nativity Story
    Self-satisfied movie features the most overblown soundtrack in recent memory. There is simply no life to this production.
132. Hoodwinked!
    Cute premise lacks punch. This one is solely for juvenile audiences.
133. The Da Vinci Code
    Akiva Goldsman and Ron Howard somehow managed to mess up a storyline I had previously considered impossible to mess up.
134. Zoom
    Tim Allen is in Galaxy Quest mode, but the childish nature of the project proves to be its undoing. Also, I felt terrible for Courteney Cox.
135. The Pink Panther
    It could have been worse. Not by much, though.

Drunk Dialing
136. Firewall
    Harrison Ford did a better version of this movie in 1988. Rent Frantic instead.
137. Phat Girlz
    I cannot in all sincerity say this is a good movie, but Monique's heart is in the right place. It scores higher than some due to its sunny disposition.
138. Black Christmas
    Accidentally doubles as a quickie See No Evil sequel...and that's not a good thing.
139. The Road to Guantanamo
    Enemies of Michael Moore have a much richer target here. Road To Guantanamo is a shamelessly one-sided farce of a political re-enactment.
140. The Black Dahlia
    Unquestionably the most disappointing title of 2006, the tone here is all wrong and the plot twists are craptacular nonsense.
141. Fast Food Nation
    Disgusting, sanctimonious trifle fails on every level.
142. Final Destination 3
    There is three month old milk in my fridge that is fresher than this concept.
143. Wordplay
    Your time would be better spent doing a couple of crossword puzzles instead. This is the most boring movie of 2006.

Cheated On
144. See No Evil
    Kane does nothing different than his wrestling schtick. The movie comes across as a student film with a C- grade rather than a major studio release.
145. Stay Alive
    Killer concept (no pun intended) fails completely in execution.
146. RV
    Imagine National Lampoon's Vacation with today's Chevy Chase instead of the funny one from 1983.
147. The Covenant
    How is this *not* a Uwe Boll production? If you want better acting, go see a high school play.
148. The Grudge 2
    In a year of indistinguishable horror movies, this inept sequel stands out in its heinousness.
149. The Wicker Man
    This might be Nicholas Cage's worst movie ever, which is really saying something.
150. Silent Hill
    I love the videogames but this mess of an adaptation is incoherent bordering on impenetrable.
151. Pulse
    Even *I* don't love Kristen Bell this much. A very good J-horror movie was adapted into an abominable Hollywood production.

152. Date Movie
    This is not a satire. It's an insipid recreation of several popular movie scenes. You'll find more wit and creativity in an episode of Gilligan's Island.
153. Lady in the Water
    The character of the critic might be the worst of the 2000s to date. Just plain embarrassing.
154. The Benchwarmers
    Probably would have ranked even lower if I had suffered through the whole thing. The only 2006 release I couldn't finish.
155. Nacho Libre
    I loathed this movie with the fire of 1,000 suns.
156. Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion
    Most unintentionally funny moment: Daughter confesses to Mother that boyfriend beats her. Mother tells daughter to stop making him mad. This really happens.
157. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
    A disgrace, pure and simple. Watch Larry interact with various ethnicities! And if you like scatalogical humor, boy howdy!
158. BloodRayne
    Imagine the worst editing job in the history of cinema. Alternately, just rent the movie and you won't have to imagine it. But no, I am not advising you to rent it.
159. Ultraviolet
    I am astonished by the fact that the director who created the wonderful Equilibrium could fail so completely in his sophomore outing. Stands the test of time as Worst Movie of the Year.



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Monday, June 24, 2019
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