Survivor: Cook Islands

You Are A Rat

By Jim Van Nest

December 5, 2006

Do you think he'd give me the immunity idol if I slept with him?

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Hello, good people, and welcome to a frosty edition of Survivor. As I type this, the sleet is falling at a record pace and it is frickin' freezing outside. My satellite reception has been a little touchy; let's hope I make it through the show. Let's see, previously on Survivor, the tribes merged, Yul continued his trek toward being the smartest player ever, Jonathan flipped on Raro and my boy, Nate, was sent packing. THIS is not gonna sit well with the rest of the former Raro tribe. Let's peek in and see how things are going.

We join the castaways right after Tribal and Jonathan is explaining himself to Candice. He tells her that he had a 100% chance of going home at that vote, or a 50% chance of going home at the next vote. He played the best chance. He tells us that he is glad he aligned with the former Aitu tribe. He likes them more and he'd rather see one of them win. Next we join a mini-celebration between Yul, Sundra and Ozzy as they revel, for a moment, in the fact that they overcame the 8-4 odds and now have complete control over the game.

While they celebrate, Parvati is scolding Jonathan for turning on them. She feels sick because of what he did. Jon explains to her that if he didn't throw in with them, they would have voted for him and the vote would have bounced off Yul and onto him. Ever the think tank, the Raro three express again how there's no way Yul can have the idol. Jonathan then spills it. He tells them Yul definitely has the idol and that he's seen it. The look on Adam's face is priceless. These chucklenuts honestly believed that there was no chance Yul could have the idol. To prove it, Parvati tells Jonathan she thinks he's lying. Have I mentioned recently that this is one of the best seasons in forever?

We come back from the break to Sundra showing Parvati how to gut a fish. Jonathan is amazed that in 28 days on this island, not only has she not gutted a fish, she hasn't even SEEN someone else do it. How does that happen exactly? Oh yeah, you rely on your looks, body and teeny bikini to keep you in the game. THAT'S how it happens. The entire Aitu tribe is discussing the fact that she's done nothing for 28 days. As they chuckle at Parvati, the sour grapes are out with the former Raros. "Jonathan sucks at life." This is Adam's hypothesis. Let's see, Academy Award-nominated writer and oh yeah, he just kicked YOUR ass. Yep, you summed that up just about right, Adam. It seems that he and Parvati were blindsided by the fact that this is a game and you have to earn your way. Apparently, they thought they would win just by showing up. The last segment before the reward is Jonathan telling Aitu how much he likes them and how they work well together and how he couldn't believe the "clown house" he stepped into.

Probst sighting! It's Survivor Auction time! They each get $500 to bid on different items. You can borrow money, but not share food. Bidding will be in increments of $20. I love the auctions, so I'll probably break this down more than you wanted me too, but...that's the luxury of being the writer.

The first item is a mystery and Jonathan wins it for $100. Hot dog, fries and a frosty mug of beer. The next item is a hot bubble bath with a huge piece of chocolate cake. Jonathan enters into the fray and gets Parvati to go up to $360 for this one. Ya know, he may be a bit of an ass, but the way Jonathan is treating the Raros is hilarious to me. Come on...he didn't want a frickin bath. He wanted Parvati to spend all her money. Duh!

The next item is a mystery envelope that will give the winner power in the game. Jonathan quickly throws in his last $400. Candice bids her entire $500. Yul, quickly and wisely, offers to lend Becky money and she sends the bid to $600. At this point, Parvati breaks from her bath for a second to ask why Becky needs it; she already has the numbers and all. Candice gets a loan from Adam, but Becky and Yul hold true and win it for $640. The note: "You must send one person to Exile Island immediately and take the rest of their money for yourself." Becky chooses....Candice. Mutineers die first, beyotch! Before she goes, Jeff tries to cheer her up with talk of the Hidden Idol. She says she thinks she knows where it is. Yul offers to "end the suspense" and tells everyone that he has it. Probst asks him to show it and he does. When asked why he would tell everyone something that is such a secret, Yul says that he wanted to play the idol at the best time to impact the game, and he was able to do that at the last vote.


Now is as good a time as any to say that Yul "gets it." The Hidden Idol isn't about immunity and being safe from one vote. The Hidden Idol is about leverage and getting people to do what you want them to at the point of the ultimate gun in this game...elimination. Jonathan really had no choice but to switch last time. Further, now that Yul has outted the Hidden Idol, what do you suppose the chances are that he gets another vote? Who's going to vote against him now, knowing that he has the idol? He has now virtually assured himself the Final Three. THAT'S the power of the Idol. And Yul has used it masterfully.

At this point, I'd like to bring in David and Kim (you know them...they wrote this column forever before I came on board). They had some very good discussion about this Hidden Immunity Idol last season when Terry proved to be a complete idiot when it came to the Idol's power. I'm sure they have plenty to say in regards to the way Yul has played it.

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