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5 Ways to Fan Fest: Part One

By George Rose

September 21, 2017

Cue the Beach Boys...

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Next up, Robin Lord Taylor (Penguin from the TV show Gotham). His line was massive about an hour earlier but had been cut off so he could do photo-ops. However, they cut it off too soon so he had extra time before pictures. This allowed me to get in a very short line with only a five minute wait. Sometimes you can avoid massive lines if you try again in a little bit and this is one of those times where it paid off. $40 autograph, $40 selfie or $70 combo. Since there was no shopping at this event, I saw this as a chance to get an extra picture I didn’t previously think I’d get. I told Robin that I’m happy there are gay actors working in comic book shows and that he was the only celeb I was buying a picture from (a lie).

I didn’t mean to lie, I just wanted him to feel good. I could tell Classy George was starting to fade so I had to act fast. I handed Robin my Funko Pop and he signed it. Then he asked where I lived. I have never been asked that before by a celeb. I told him I live near Philadelphia and he said he lived in New York. I said I’d be in NY in October for Comic Con and he winked at me. I felt like he was trying to tell me something and I wondered if I was going to have a foursome with him in October with both of our partners. I’m not against this prospect but I’m also not a mind reader. I get very awkward around other gay men because I don’t know what they’re thinking or who wants to bang who. I gave him another hug, felt a nice squeeze on my back, and knew we’d have sex together one day. I said I’d see him in October and went on my way.




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Next up was Katie Cassidy. Again, I got to her line just as she was returning from photo-ops so there was only a few people ahead of me. Since she was one of the bigger celebs, she was charging $50 for an autograph. I took one look at her and, although she was beautiful, she was barely recognizable. She was BONE THIN, a far cry from the healthy looking young woman that starred in Monte Carlo in 2011. I decided a picture wasn’t worth the extra $30 since I didn’t know this version of Katie and I had already spent over $200 in under two hours. I told her assistant I wanted just an autograph and started to hand him $50. Instead, he asked for my Black Canary Funko Pop and put a post-it-note on it saying “autograph.” Then Katie flagged me down (she seemed to be in a rush), and I went over to her. I started gushing my love to her and said, “I didn’t know you had any weight to lose but you are so skinny!” Ugh, I’m so stupid.

I know, I know… you shouldn’t talk about a woman’s weight. My filter was slipping fast but Katie rebounded nicely. “Oh, well I do lots of spin classes,” she said and gave me a big hug. I was so relieved she didn’t allow me to be a dirtbag who had the audacity to talk about her figure and allowed me to just be a nice guy who told someone they were looking slim. She must have been going for that effect because she was happy with the result. If she was losing weight because of, say, battling cancer than maybe my comments wouldn’t have sat as well. As it was, she took it as a compliment and thanked me. I walked off and looked down at my Funko. I was sad she signed it with a black marker since the Pop is black, so the autograph didn’t stand out. Then I saw the $50 still in my hand. Katie has pulled me away from the assistant before I could pay and nobody noticed. I looked around and didn’t see any security chasing me down.


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