The Amazing Race Season 28 Recap - Episode 1
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
February 19, 2016
The gap here seems insignificant. The choices on the Detour are Mariachi and Great Bulls of Fire. The former challenge requires contestants to deduce which of the literally hundreds of mariachi band musicians aren’t actually playing their instruments. It somehow sounds easy but seems impossible. The latter one is obviously more labor intensive. Teams have to build a bull…structure that includes spinning fireworks. When done correctly, the wheels will trigger the fireworks display. If done poorly, the wheels don’t move as the locals laugh at the suffering of “celebrities”.
Have you ever wondered if it’s strange to walk up to a musician and stick your ear in their instrument? Anecdotal evidence from tonight’s episode indicates that it is. One team, the Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook of Frisbee, is reduced to screaming, “WHO’S FAKE-PLAYING?!” The Amazing Race isn’t going to be that easy, dude.
As if on demand, they choose a player to take to the clue who is, in fact, playing his instrument. Loudly. If they have tinnitus, this moment is their Hell. Meanwhile, Sheri & Cole are close enough (or at least edited that way) that they pick a musician as well. Then, Sheri realizes that a dude who is actually playing his instrument doesn’t help them any. We’re lowering our expectations for Sheri & Cole this season.
Brodie & Kurt, disc spinners extraordinaire, find a fake player first, which makes them two for two in finishing ahead of everybody else. They’re more than simple Frisbee legends, folks. Their reward is a trip to Cuevas De Teotihuacan, which seems like the filming location for The Descent. It’s bold of CBS to kill a YouTube star in the season premiere.
Erin & Joslyn, who are screamers by the way, finish just behind the boys. They then hug the mariachi player, the second person they’ve groped during their brief time in Mexico. Meanwhile, the constant cuts to the other performers and their song make us hate Cielito Lindo the way that we previously hated Sheri & Cole. Mariachi is better in small doses.
Dana & Matt also finish without incident. Clearly, Mariachi was the choice here, and we say this even as we watch Zach & Rachel stumble through the crowd, suffering through the musical earworm of a lifetime. Meanwhile, the following teams try to be strong like bull. Tyler & Korey, Scott & Blair, Marty & Hagan, Darius & Cameron, Brittany & Jessica, and Burnie & Ashley all choose the slower side. One of them will likely be the first team eliminated.
Wait, we spoke too soon. The teams that wisely selected Mariachi receive their reward for a trombone to the ear. That reward is bunching. All teams will have to wait until the following morning, where they will start the next leg sometime between 7:30 and 7:50 a.m. We would definitely trade the 20 minute head start in exchange for never hearing Cielito Lindo again.
Due to the bunching, the next few minutes are irrelevant. Sheri & Cole cry again. That’s about it, and we’re starting to think that’s going to be their default setting this season. Otherwise, the only thing that matters is the starting time for each team. The 7:30 gang includes the dancers, the Frisbee throwers, the Crybabies (and yes, they cried over finishing in the top group), and the Clevver Girls.