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Previously on The Amazing Race, one of the best teams ever lost in a heartbreaker, and now they’re gone. The producers have not so secretly replaced them with a bunch of YouTube “stars.” It’s constantly shocking to us what passes for celebrity these days. We also lack the competitive advantage that other Amazing Race viewers have. We skipped YouTube and went straight to Twitch, so we’re not going to have any idea who any of these people are.

In order to make itself more viral, The Amazing Race is seeking the online streaming audience, which they hope will naturally progress into loyal CBS app users. In other words, this season is fairly shameless and likely to feature many. Shocking. Twists!

Right on cue the show starts with introductions from the contestants’ homes, along with the announcement that the show has started. Allegedly, this is a month before anyone expected. We question this since everyone is dressed in their team colors and has their bags packed.

We’ll describe our opinions of the teams as the episode begins. What’s important is that the teams are all rushing to the airport in order to go to Mexico City and the Monument of the Revolution. We quickly learn which teams are best at faking surprise. The answer is “none of them.”

Everyone starts from their own hometown, which tells us there will be some sort of evening out once they arrive in Mexico City. Otherwise it’s not fair.

We first meet Tyler & Korey, unquestionably the most popular of the teams this season. Even we know (of) one of them. Tyler claims eight million subscribers on YouTube, and is recognizable enough that his cab driver asks for an autograph. They seem incredibly nice and genuine, which explains their internet celebrity.

Next up are Dana & Matt, New York dancers. They seem to be decent people and slightly competitive with each other. Overall, they’re fairly innocuous during the episode, which is generally a good sign.

Erin & Joslyn very much want to be bubbly and energetic, but we expect them to get old quick, and not only because they spell “clever” wrong.

Married couple Zach & Rachel are the next online sensations, although Zach seems to do most of the heavy lifting in his videos. He makes quick edit Vines that appear to employ magic. Apparently Rachel is the first woman he ever kissed, and their wedding was earlier in the year. They’re a good-looking couple who smile with their teeth a lot. We hope they maintain that level of exuberance throughout the competition.

Papa Scott and his daughter Blair. He seems to be some sort of mutant doctor-lawyer. She does some sort of style/makeup tips channel. They seem to have the stereotypical father-daughter relationship from a 1950s sitcom. We hope there’s more to it than that.

Our next team is Sheri & Cole, and while it’s not usually easy to pick teams we dislike this early, this mother/son team grates on us quickly. They’re the cryingest team this side of onion farmers. Seriously, teenage girls didn’t shed this many tears when One Direction broke up. They say other stuff, but we’re not paying attention.

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