Survivor: Worlds Apart Power Rankings
By Ben Willoughby
March 17, 2015
Three episodes in, and a tribe switch cannot come soon enough for me. I hate three-tribe seasons, because on any given week you only get to see the inner workings of one tribe if you’re lucky. And it's generally the same damn tribe! So instead of having a sense of the alliances and fractures on each tribe, I’m left saying mean things about people I don’t know who get three minutes of screen time if they are lucky.
Here are the “power rankings” for this week.
True to the show’s stereotypes, the Blue Collars are a rag-tag bunch of rough diamonds who are continually angry, but put aside their differences at the Immunity Challenge. Just like if the oil-drilling team from Armageddon were playing Survivor. (Mike = Bruce Willis. Rod = Ben Affleck. Dan = Steve Buscemi).
Watching the Blue Collars makes me think they should be watching Sesame Street lessons on social interactions. This week’s Blue Collar power rankings are brought to you by the etiquette lesson “Leave the mothers out of it."
Kelly finally gets an interview, and she talked about how surprised she is that the Blue Collars are so emotional. I’ve put her on top of the power rankings because she is the only one so far who comes across as “not a five-year-old."
Nothing happened with Sierra this week, except that she was happy to sit quietly while Lindsey mouthed off at Mike. That’s all it takes to get you into #2 on Blue Collar.
Lindsey’s an abrasive loose cannon. It’s not enough for her to point out how much work she does around camp, she has to mock Mike’s bearded God who - in Lindsey's opinion - is not pulling His weight around camp by lighting fires and so forth. It seems like she and Sierra are a pair, and obviously Lindsey’s going to be the one taking the hits.
Rodney’s episode highlight reel was his fight with Mike, which can be summarized as “Bro, you’re not my father bro, you can’t tell me what to do, bro.” In interview, Rodney explained that this is why he works for himself, which really means that he can’t work as part of a team, which also means that he has no chance at this game.
Also interesting was that the person who Rodney goes off to vent with about Mike was not any of the women on the tribe, but Dan! So even though there are a bunch of sympathetic female ears on the tribe, Rodney’s preferred option is to go off and whine about Mike with Mike’s closest ally in the game, the guy he is still upset with for calling Rodney’s mother a whore. Is it so bad to even talk to a woman? Rodney’s social game sucks.
Dan admits that he has a hard time keeping his mouth shut. If “your mother’s a whore” is what comes out when the tribe is doing well, imagine what he would be saying if they were losing challenges. Dan claims to have learned his lesson, but... he hasn't learned his lesson.
Mike was so confident that everyone feels the same way about “I’ll work when I wanna” Rodney that it must have been a bit of a blow when he realized that everyone actually feels the same way about him. From his “if this sends me home, then send me home” speech, it doesn’t sound like he learned much from the experience. Bro needs to chill, bro!