Three episodes in, and a tribe switch cannot come soon enough for me. I hate three-tribe seasons, because on any given week you only get to see the inner workings of one tribe if you’re lucky. And it's generally the same damn tribe! So instead of having a sense of the alliances and fractures on each tribe, I’m left saying mean things about people I don’t know who get three minutes of screen time if they are lucky.
Survivor: Worlds Apart Power Rankings
By Ben Willoughby
March 17, 2015
Here are the “power rankings” for this week.
True to the show’s stereotypes, the Blue Collars are a rag-tag bunch of rough diamonds who are continually angry, but put aside their differences at the Immunity Challenge. Just like if the oil-drilling team from Armageddon were playing Survivor. (Mike = Bruce Willis. Rod = Ben Affleck. Dan = Steve Buscemi).
Watching the Blue Collars makes me think they should be watching Sesame Street lessons on social interactions. This week’s Blue Collar power rankings are brought to you by the etiquette lesson “Leave the mothers out of it."
Kelly finally gets an interview, and she talked about how surprised she is that the Blue Collars are so emotional. I’ve put her on top of the power rankings because she is the only one so far who comes across as “not a five-year-old."
Nothing happened with Sierra this week, except that she was happy to sit quietly while Lindsey mouthed off at Mike. That’s all it takes to get you into #2 on Blue Collar.
Lindsey’s an abrasive loose cannon. It’s not enough for her to point out how much work she does around camp, she has to mock Mike’s bearded God who - in Lindsey's opinion - is not pulling His weight around camp by lighting fires and so forth. It seems like she and Sierra are a pair, and obviously Lindsey’s going to be the one taking the hits.
Rodney’s episode highlight reel was his fight with Mike, which can be summarized as “Bro, you’re not my father bro, you can’t tell me what to do, bro.” In interview, Rodney explained that this is why he works for himself, which really means that he can’t work as part of a team, which also means that he has no chance at this game.
Also interesting was that the person who Rodney goes off to vent with about Mike was not any of the women on the tribe, but Dan! So even though there are a bunch of sympathetic female ears on the tribe, Rodney’s preferred option is to go off and whine about Mike with Mike’s closest ally in the game, the guy he is still upset with for calling Rodney’s mother a whore. Is it so bad to even talk to a woman? Rodney’s social game sucks.
Dan admits that he has a hard time keeping his mouth shut. If “your mother’s a whore” is what comes out when the tribe is doing well, imagine what he would be saying if they were losing challenges. Dan claims to have learned his lesson, but... he hasn't learned his lesson.
Mike was so confident that everyone feels the same way about “I’ll work when I wanna” Rodney that it must have been a bit of a blow when he realized that everyone actually feels the same way about him. From his “if this sends me home, then send me home” speech, it doesn’t sound like he learned much from the experience. Bro needs to chill, bro!
Another boring week over at White Collar, with more “everyone thinks Shirin is crazy.” “The White Collars have long team meetings where they talk about synergy” would be more interesting than this.
Even though Tyler knows Carolyn has the hidden immunity idol, he is out there looking for it and making friends with Joaquin even though he knows both activities are probably pointless. A for effort, Tyler.
Carolyn is not impressed with nudity or monkey sex, so I wonder if she makes friends easily. But still, she should really have been out there searching for the idol.
Another quiet week for Max. I think he had more camera time with his mouth blurred than not this week.
Thanks to her vivid interest the animals around camp, particularly the monkey sex, I'm putting her in the same basket of memorable Survivors as Frank from Africa and Cindy from Guatemala. In other words, who? Anyway, telling the rest of her tribe about the monkey sex isn’t helping her fit in with the rest of the group, who obviously never grew up reading National Geographic articles about Jane Goodall. Joaquin even calls Shirin “crazy paranoid,” but I believe that’s just sour grapes because she saw through his “neutral clue” clue lie so fast. Plus, I’m pretty sure her endless talk while they are idol-hunting is just to troll him.
Joaquin apparently can’t figure out the clue to the hidden immunity idol, but I think a kinder interpretation is that he has already looked everywhere that the clue suggests, hasn’t found it and is desperate enough to share his information in the vague hope that it helps someone trust him.
Nina was voted out last episode, and it became very clear that – being uptight about everything from social invitations to lizard-eating – she was on the wrong tribe from the start. It was kind of clueless of Survivor, really – “Get this, an advocate for the deaf! How loopy is that? Let’s stick her on the same tribe as the coconut vendor, the jewelry designer and the guy who hams it up in front of a gas station camera!”
I think Jenn has the right mix of charm and selfishness to do very well in this game. She couldn't care less about Nina's issues, saying that they are all going through the same experience on Survivor, while neglecting to mention that Nina was going through it alone while Jenn is going through it with a new BFF who likes to surf. I have two predictions about Jenn's future game: the White Collar men are going to be all over her, and the Blue Collar women are going to loathe her.
Joe has been getting a sympathetic edit – he’s the one you see talking about team camaraderie, and the one talking with Nina to show how much time he's spent around deaf people. But all of this rings a little hollow to me. It’s Day 8, and we are only learning that he can sign now? Okay, maybe editing can explain that one. But if he’s spent a lot of time around deaf people, why does he think that the best contribution Nina can possibly make in the challenge is to go sit in the corner? Regardless, it was just bad challenge strategy, bad team management and when you add it to Joe’s bad voting strategy of the previous week, that golden boy image is getting a little tarnished.
Hali seems pretty deep in Jenn’s pocket, from her talk about “me and Jenn” having trouble at the merge. Note: not “me and Joe” or “the three of us.” The only mystery about Hali is what her #1 and #2 passions are. And I’m pretty sure I know what one of them is.
Will is obviously on the bottom of his tribe, since he has nothing in common with the rest of them, none of them trust him and he’s a lead weight at challenges. If No Collar lose again, who are the producers going to play "anyone but Will" with?
Next episode of Survivor is a double episode, so we’ll have two Tribal Councils and hopefully some meaningful insights into tribes that are not the No Collar tribe. On Blue Collar, there’s a screaming match between Rodney and Lindsey, which does nothing to sway my view that the tribe is idiots. And a challenge may go horribly wrong, with Probst calling in medical. So maybe we won’t learn much about the non-No Collar tribes after all!