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The fourth round is Baylor versus her mom. Say what you will about Baylor. She knows all of her mother’s weaknesses. Missy never has a chance. Missy is worse than Baylor. That shouldn’t even be possible.

Next, Keith matches up against Alec in a battle of lithe men with great balance. Keith delivers the best performance thus far by watching Alec’s midsection, the area that identifies when he is vulnerable. He strikes at the perfect moment, thereby becoming the first attacker to succeed. This matchup is hilarious because Alec, who is a total clown, tries to bait Keith to attack. Alec gets exactly what he deserves for taunting.

Wes versus Reed the rematch takes a turn when Reed literally bitch-slaps Wes. It’s a psychological ploy that backfires when Wes tries to reciprocate. Reed is prepared for this and counters. Wes accidentally knocks mud into Reed’s eye, and the temporarily blinded man is distracted. Wes knocks him off to tie their personal battle at 1-1 and the overall game at 3-3.

Survivor’s ratings spike during the Jaclyn/Natalie rematch when a muddy Miss Michigan employs the bouncing beam strategy. ALL THE GIFS! Once again, Jaclyn gets impatient and attacks prematurely. History repeats itself in the next round when Jon wards off Jeremy’s attack and counters by knocking him off the plank. That leaves Baylor versus Missy as the determinant in which group wins. We don’t even to recap this. Missy is terrible at everything, even in comparison to lowly Baylor. Baylor’s tribe wins the reward.

An unexpected moment occurs next. Natalie quizzes Probst on whether she can give up her reward to a specific member of the losing group. He confirms that she can. She quickly cedes her meal to Jon. Almost immediately, Jeremy adds that he wants to do the same for Jaclyn. We would also note that the boxer-clad Jeremy is…excited to do this. He needs a textbook to hide his current level of arousal.

Note to Val: if there are any mudwrestling events in the greater Boston area, you need to take your man. North America is now confident he will enjoy it. This series of events makes us realize that the editors must try to avoid any shots of dudes sporting wood. Something important has to be happening if they are willing to pornalize Jeremy like that.

Jon and Jaclyn are absolutely thrilled by this turn of events. During the challenge, Jaclyn had encouraged Jon by pointing out how much he wanted that sandwich. Missy, their other ally, has terrible body language as they events transpire. She seems jealous that Natalie, her ally, chose one of the hangers on rather than someone higher up.

During the chaos of this sequence, Jeremy winds up sent to Exile Island, which is presumably done to give him the chance at an idol. Probst notes, “Two minutes ago, he was on a yacht.” Meanwhile, Natalie plays up her sainthood. That’s a dangerous move in this game. Giving up a car got Yau-Man voted out the following day at Tribal Council.

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