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Survivor: Blood vs. Water - Preview, Part 1

By Ben Willoughby

September 16, 2013

Well, they don't appear to be off to a roaring start.

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Let’s meet our first four pairs of castaways.

Rupert and Laura

There’s no need to introduce Rupert, the pirate wannabe who charmed us all by stealing shoes on the first day of the Pearl Islands season, and then proceeded to bore us all silly over his remaining 99 days on the show with his tie-dyed puffery and creepy possessiveness. Rupert also ran an unsuccessful campaign for the Indiana governorship last year, and who’d have thought the Indiana Libertarian Party would pick an entitled intense weirdo blowhard as their leader? Playing with Rupert is his wife Laura, who we have seen previously seen slobbered over at family visit episodes.

In Rupert’s CBS interview, he has the crazy eyes going on immediately, as he starts talking about how this is his fourth time on Survivor, and he is playing with his wife of 15 and a half years. He’s especially excited that it is the 27th season because 27 is “my number,” “it’s a dominant number in my world.” Rupert’s birthday falls on the 27th, and he even turned 27 on the 27th! Astonishing!




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Anyway, Rupert touts Laura as being a better swimmer and a better runner than he is, though “maybe she’s not as strong.” But they say they are both in great shape and compare how much weight they have lost for the season – 40 pounds for Laura, 50 pounds for Rupert, both impressive – and Rupert talks about what a game-winning team they will be. “Every time I make it so close, but I’m that guy who trusts a little bit too much. Laura is more realistic, reality based, grounded. Laura is my reminder.” I'm reminded that Rupert's faults are all related to how awesome he is. Also, his wife is his “reminder”? Did Rupert never have sticky-notes as his luxury item?

EW asks Rupert why he would bring his wife on the horrible experience that is Survivor. It turns out that Laura didn’t even make Rupert’s top five loved ones to bring along! But it was because Laura had always said she never wanted to play. However, after he sent off the list, Laura asked “How come you never sent in my name?” Then he leans forward to the camera and says “I was never going to volunteer Laura, I wanted her to ask.”

Would Rupert ever vote his wife off? According to Rupert, “the game is giant, but my marriage is even bigger.” There’s no way he would ever do that. But he’s told Laura that if she has to, it’s “more than fine” because Rupert has to show how he is the bigger person. But he and Laura want to get to final two together. And he does that creepy Rupert laugh. They want a clean sweep, first, second and fan favorite. In a normal season, fan favorite would be pushing it, but wait until you see the rest of the cast.

Is there anyone Rupert and Laura are wary of? Laura says, “People that are scared of everything that moves.” Rupert says that Tyson’s partner (Rachel) is looking terrified, and Gervase’s loved one (Marissa) too. The Bonehams were also thrilled when they came on a loved ones Survivor and found there were no Hantzes.


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