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Survivor: Caramoan - Reunion

By Ben Willoughby

May 15, 2013

One of these players is good at Survivor. Hint: Not the one on the right.

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Now it’s time to hear from Malcolm with his Garnier-Fructis hair on full display. When asked about doing back-to-back seasons, he basically says it was a big mistake because he was beat after the first season, and still has not recovered muscle mass from the 80 out of 100 days of near-starvation. The experience has taught him humility, though, as he thought he would win “in a cake walk.”

The question Probst wants to ask is when he was looking for the idol he bought the clue for, why didn’t he just dig? He explains that he had already spent a lot of time looking when Andrea showed up, and he didn’t spend it all “farting around or hitting on Andrea."

Probst can’t get over how everyone, himself included, is swooning over Malcolm. He even plays a clip of Malcolm’s guest appearance on The Bold and the Beautiful to demonstrate Malcolm’s appeal to old ladies and shut-ins. It is revealed that Malcolm is actually a terrible actor, even by Bold and Beautiful standards. In his defence, the writing is absolutely appalling, even by Phillip Shepherd standards. In all seriousness, Cochran could punch it up. But still, who would have thought such a self-described accomplished liar would be so awful?

Young people like Malcolm too! Probst goes into the audience to find an 11-year-old girl who must have been great in rehearsal, but is suffering stage fright now. When Probst asks her if she would like to go on Survivor one day, she says she would need time to think about it.




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Probst claims that this young lady reminds him of Andrea. Smooth! Andrea was 21 in her first season. “Season 22, Redemption Island.” Ha! When Probst asks about how she gets in trouble with the boys, she says “You’ve got to stop putting me on the island with these handsome men, it’s distracting." She still has her idol, and wears it sometimes. She would like to sell it, but her mother would be devastated.

I suppose we have to hear from at least one “fan” at the reunion, and inevitably it’s Reynold. Probst, compulsive liar, says “you were savvy about the game very quickly” but what’s it like playing with returnees? Reynold talks about how returning players can deal better with the game, like keeping their emotions in check. “It’s hard to get over betrayal,” says Reynold, even though he was never really betrayed – at least not by someone he had a personal attachment to. If Eddie had ever voted for Reynold, that would have been a betrayal. Really, Reynold was outwitted. But betrayed sounds better to him. “Everyone says 'it’s just a game and don’t take it personally,' but it’s easier said than done."

It’s time now to see what players from Survivor’s first season have to say. We get a montage of best moments from the season which unaccountably includes plenty of Gervase footage (hint, hint for next season). Then Probst checks in with Rudy Boesch, the Navy SEAL who graduated from the Clint Eastwood “I’m prejudiced against everyone” school of diplomacy. Rudy’s looking great for 85, though.


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