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Phillip

Phillip was the first runner-up in the Redemption Island season, which is another way of saying “Boston Rob took me to the end because I acted nuts, and it would have been a clean-sweep except for the one nutjob who threw a vote my way.” But “The Specialist” seems to think he earned first runner-up thanks to his “daring to be different”, which is one way to describe “communing with his ancestors while bits of him are hanging out from his saggy pink Y-fronts.”

Anyway, Phillip wants to top his performance from his last season by winning this time. He claims there won’t be the big blow-ups, which the producers will be very disappointed to hear. And he’ll form an alliance this time, assuming he can identify the most patient and good-natured people on his new tribe, and he thinks the fans will love him. He even Twitters and Facebooks! www.thespecialistthoughts.gov.www/thespecialistthoughts. And if you want to read more from Phillip, check out the first in a new series of books, The Specialist: The Costa Rica Job.

Assessment: Let’s assume Phillip isn’t as crazy as he makes out to be. He’s still here because the producers want more Phillip and that’s what he’s going to provide. He even has new pink underwear and a feather.

Malcolm

Malcolm was clearly the fan favorite from last season, and probably the only returnee that I don’t need to remind you about. Malcolm says that he did have a moment’s hesitation before signing back up – which apparently happened ten minutes after he was eliminated – but only because it was a long time since he’d had a cold beer. He believes that a big part of why he has been so supported is because he’s such a fan of the show himself, which is probably true. He’s like the anti-Cochran.

Anyway, Malcolm believes that he’ll have a target on his back from Day 1 because no one knows who he is, so everyone will assume that he’s must have done something awesome last season to be cast again so quick. While Malcolm says we’ll see a lot of the same him, he has learned that “aspects of my behavior aren’t as charming as I thought” and he plans to adjust accordingly. He hasn’t done much else to prepare because there were only a couple of weeks in between filming last season and this one, and he spent those “lying on my couch drinking beer and eating ice cream.” Like we would do anything different.

Assessment: Malcolm’s probably the only returning player whose casting had as much to do with playing Survivor as personality. He should do well, but he’ll need to watch out as there are no other golden boy types on his tribe, making him an obvious threat.

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