Survivor: One World Recap

Just Annihilate Them

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

April 15, 2012

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Previously on Survivor, Kat said something stupid, Alicia said something vile, Tarzan acted weird and Jonas was voted out. Okay, we are generalizing about everything except for the Jonas vote. The rest of it is a summary of the entire season to date, not counting whatshisname, the bigot who suffered appendix karma.

Survivor isn't having a bad season, per se. This has become the standard for the show. The stronger players are voted out for having the audacity to lack crippling personality flaws. By the end, the remaining players are oftentimes the bottom of the barrel with one standing out for being slightly less offensive than the rest. This is not new behavior for the show, going all the way back to Survivor: Marquesas, the fourth season.

After a tactician (Richard "What are taxes?" Hatch) emerged victorious in season one, a willful maternal figure (Tina Wesson) outlasted an athletic marvel (Colby Donaldson) in season two and a renaissance player (Ethan Zohn) dominated season three, the best players in season four - including Boston Rob - were all eliminated. Vecepia neither outwitted nor outplayed anyone else yet she did outlast the other participants, making her the first of several subpar winners. Jud Birza (you know him as Fabio), Todd Herzog, Chris Daugherty and Brian Heidik are clearly the five worst winners in the show's history.


Survivor: One World is heading in the direction of having a winner equal to these frauds. Then again, we felt the same way last season, yet eventual winner Sophie Clarke is someone we would group in the top half of Survivor champions. If that is to happen this season, Kim and Sabrina are the best bets. Jay is the best of the men. Unfortunately, that is like being the most competent of the Three Stooges. Like Monica before him, Jay has the fates against him as he has been on the outside looking in with every power alliance thus far. He was last one out on the alpha males, the final player to join the misfits and then picked a feud with Mr. Irrational, Tarzan. Jay isn't long for this game and when he goes, that leaves Troyzan or maybe Michael as the best remaining male player. In other words, a woman is going to win Survivor this season.

As an aside, here is an interesting question. If you were trapped on a desert island and could only choose Tarzan, Kat or Alicia as your sole companion, who would you select? You're mentally thinking Wilson the volleyball, right?

The episode begins with Troyzan and Jay discussing the way that they “got stuck” with Mike, which does not bode well for one of the two remaining alpha males. In fact, the table is set for Michael and Jay to be the next two people voted out, with Troyzan interchangeable in the trio. Remember that competence is not an asset in Survivor this season – at least not for the men. Troyzan says that he hopes they didn’t make a mistake in aligning themselves with the women of the new Salani tribe. Spoilers: You did. It was stupid. What the hell were you thinking?

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