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Art & JJ are the first ones at Oil and the realization of what lies ahead baffles the boys. As JJ sums it up, “This is wicked strange.” Over at Apples, Nary & Jamie are equally overwhelmed by the thousands of apples stuffed in a car. Border Patrol is not alone at being flabbergasted that they are really scraping oil off of a hairy man. Team Justified and Big Brother have an equally dumbfounded reaction that "yes, you are really doing this."

Meanwhile at the carpet shops, the buffoons (their word…not mine) Vanessa & Ralph finally see the clue. As I heard my mother say multiple times growing up when I didn’t notice something obvious, “If it was a snake, it would’ve bit ya.” The divorcees go with Apples. They get to the Detour while Team Un-Fed is still searching.

As is usually the case, Art & JJ are the first ones done with a task and are happy to be leaving their oiled up companion for Phil. As JJ lays it on the table for us, “If you want a million dollars, scrub a man’s junk.” I am sufficiently disturbed.

Bopper & Mark are the next ones done, with Big Brother not more than a couple minutes back. Border Patrol hits the mat as team number two, just before Jersey Shore gets their Detour clue, which they opt for Apples.

Before Team Justified or Big Brother get to Phil, Nary & Jamie find their apple clue and are now in contention depending upon which Detour task is closer to the pitstop.

A footrace to the mat results in Team Justified as number three and Big Brother as team number four. I am pleased that Bopper & Mark proved me wrong. If I continue to underestimate them, then maybe they will continue to excel. Team Un-Fed is accepting of their fifth place finish but not overjoyed. I guess they thought their Detour task was the simpler one and didn’t like hearing that three other teams passed them up while they were knee deep in apples.

Vanessa & Ralph finish the Detour just before Jersey Shore arrives but are saddled with a cabbie who doesn’t know where the pitstop is. Or is this just a case of creative editing?

The two remaining teams are now in their cabs and heading to the pitstop. Vanessa & Ralph are trying their darnedest to make “Cheese-and-crackers” happen as they say it about 28 times this episode. It’s like Survivor’s Neleh and her “Oh my heck” from that show's fourth season. The divorcees are checked in as number six.

Joey & Danny are the last team to arrive and are eliminated. I am surprised because we are slated for at least one more non-elimination and there are only six teams left. That means we still have an inconsequential episode coming up.

In two weeks, the race continues and Bad Rachel and Venomous Vanessa are at each other’s throats again with supremely catty comments like, “What are you like 38? Grow up,” and “Yeah, I’m 38 and I still look better than you. Honey, get your nose done before you get your boobs done, do everyone a favor.” In case the producers haven’t done so already, I would like to offer this blanket apology to the entire continent of Africa for having to witness this childish display.

Have a good couple of weeks, folks.

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