The Amazing Race Season 20 Recap
The Amazing Race Season 20 Recap
By Daron Aldridge
March 27, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Note: never call any pair of glasses 'lucky'

Last week saw the welcomed return of elimination and Art & JJ remain unchallenged for frontrunner status, even without a Fast Forward. Oh yeah, we lost cousins Kerri & Stacy (or was it Kerry & Staci?) and they quickly became a faint memory of even being on the show.

Based upon the decent performance last week (save for the gnome curling disaster that was Nary), here are my power rankings:

Team Border Patrol Art & JJ - Here’s the revised scoreboard: THREE consecutive first place finishes and they will need a Mayan predicted catastrophe to derail their path to a million dollars. After five legs, these guys haven’t really struggled with any challenge. That may change but I doubt it will be so detrimental that any of the others will capitalize on their errors. As tempting as it is to simply place the remaining teams in a six-way tie for "not first," I’ll give the number two spot to…

Army of Two Rachel & Dave - Nothing disastrous unfolded for them last week and they kept their heads about them, even in the face of an unnecessary tour of the wrong castle. Their ability to dislike each other (that’s my assessment) and simultaneously race pretty well keeps them near the top. Dave let Blonde Rachel take the lead on the mustache and beard styling task and she didn’t unpack the ugly side of her that reared its head the previous two legs. With more of that restraint, they should stay in the top three.

Jersey Shore’s Joey & Danny - I have to give credit where credit is due. I judged a book by its cover and was wrong. Are these guys fun-loving, meatheads that fuel the Jersey Shore stereotype? Yes. But they have also been consistently threatening the leader’s standings the last few legs. I mistakenly wrote them off at the beginning of the season and they seem out to disprove my assumption with every leg.

Team Un-Fed Nary & Jamie - Nary & Jamie was the only team to stumble last week and it allowed all but one team to pass them up. So far this seems to be an anomaly as they have been decent when not performing Winter Olympic sports with garden decorations. I still think they deserve a slot ahead of...

(tie) divorcees Vanessa & Ralph and Big Brother’s Brendon & Rachel - I will put them together just because they hate each other so much. Last week, I jokingly suggested that the divorcees argue more because it seems to work for dating/engaged/married teams this season. They took my suggestion and fought…A LOT. For their furor, they scored a third place pitstop finish but I suspect that my wild theory will be enough. In the same vein (you know the one that bulges in your forehead whenever Bad Rachel has one of her "reality TV-ready" breakdowns), Big Brother didn’t fight much this week but Rachel again had a faux meltdown. Their own proclivity wanting to wave the white flag should prevent them from making it far. I question the long-term prospects of either of these teams as I am now picking my initial winner to barely outlast…

Bopper & Mark - I like Team Justified and have found myself overlooking the fellas’ extremely thick southern accent to root for them. Despite the very caring motivation of paying for medicine and treatment for Bopper’s daughter, I simply think that they won’t survive elimination again. In fact, I think they may get a chance to prove their mettle by overcoming another Speed Bump, when they aren’t eliminated during the next nonelimination round, which I predict will be this or next week.

All right, well, there you have it – how I see the remaining teams in all their glorious mediocrity. It’s check-out time for teams in Bavaria; next stop…Baku, Azerbaijan.

Before we can get actually started, the producers have to the paid for screen time to Travelocity as Team Border Patrol browses online for the trip they won. I’m surprised they haven’t officially sold the naming rights of the show so it would be renamed The Amazing Travelocity Race with Ford Motors.

Of course, our frontrunners Art & JJ will be leaving first at 8:48 a.m. and heading to the Caspian Sea to a former Soviet nation of Azerbaijan. When they land they have to find the Temple Ateshgah for their clue. It’s nice to hear the guys acknowledge that they are only one Roadblock or Detour away from being humbled in the race. Their work ethic and competitiveness is what will likely keep them as the team to beat.

On their heels (or rather 30 minutes later), Team Jersey Shore leaves the pitstop, and they are determined to keep their ascent from tenth place to second place moving up. Only a couple of minutes separates Joey & Danny from team number three Vanessa & Ralph, who recount their cattiness toward one another on the last leg. They still seem to actually like one another despite last week’s display.

Speaking of teams that don’t seem so harmonious in the real world, we have team number four Army of Two Rachel & Dave. Even though they are a solid hour and a half behind the divorcees, Dave says he believes they are still the team to beat. That is a nice sentiment but maybe he wasn’t paying attention to the fact that Art & JJ have virtually lapped everyone on two separate legs. He does acknowledge that they will need to be more supportive of each other. And shockingly, even though Blonde Rachel makes a mistake heading to the airport, they don’t blow up at each other.

In fifth (and disappointingly, still on my TV) is Team Big Brother. Brendon & Bad Rachel display a bit more initiative than the others who are heading straight to the airport. They stop by a travel agent and find out that a 6:20 p.m. flight is the first available one. That simply means that Team Justified Bopper & Mark and Team Un-Fed Nary & Jamie who leave within a minute of one another will have plenty of time to get all bunched up.

Team Un-Fed reminds us that their strategy was for the teams to not view them as a threat, which is why they lied about being teachers and not cops. But then they use their near-elimination finish as another reason teams would underestimate them. So their checklist must be: 1) Tell the others we are teachers. CHECK. 2) Suck at a Roadblock and narrowly avoid elimination by only a couple of minutes. CHECK. I highly doubt that little tactic was on their list of ways to fool the others.

At the airport, Border Patrol gets the same story as Big Brother that the 6:20 flight is the earliest and ALL the teams are on the same plane.

How does a taxi cab scramble sound? Good, I hope, because that is what we get leaving the Baku airport. The rush from the airport turns out to be for a primo spot in the dancing circle going on at the temple, which doesn’t open until sunrise. The lightheartedness and overall fun atmosphere is one of the few occasions we get to see the teams not competing but just enjoying the culture around them. It’s quite refreshing. The one that surprises me the most is how eager Army Dave is to just dance away the early morning hours.

At sunrise, the temple is open and the teams get their clues. In the clue are a route marker and a Fast Forward. For the first time in a long time, we may see more than one team battling it out for the Fast Forward. The task involves located a hay market and they have to unload 150 bales of hay and then stack them 10 bales long, three bales wide and five bales high. Army of Two and Jersey Shore are the only two to take the Fast Forward bait and given how strong the guys are, Joey & Danny may be getting that first place finish this leg.

For those not trying the Fast Forward, they have to go to a place called Occupational Training International.

At the Fast Forward, Blonde Rachel is being supportive in her stacking method, while Dave unloads, that is until Dave starts to drop them *this* close to her head. Surprisingly, though, both of them adjust what they are doing that is wrong and keep their cool. Whereas, Danny is just kinda winging it on his stack but seems to be making more progress.

Back in the cabs, we get the return of Mark’s motion sickness with several shots of Mark’s face buried in a barf bag. Worst…road trip companion…ever. Unless you count Bad Rachel. There has been nothing specific on this leg but the idea of a being locked a car with her was one the circles of hell that Dante’s publisher probably edited out.

As Dave continues to just toss hay off the truck, Rachel’s frustration begins to mount. As much as I have been on his side for their breakdowns, I think she is justified in his over-the-top hay tossing. Despite this, neither team is showing signs of backing down, even though one of them will not be getting the Fast Forward and potentially be eliminated. This is one of those situations where you just gamble with it and do your best.

Meanwhile at the other clue, all the teams are searching the grounds but Team Justified is the first to find the Roadblock clue – What does down, must come up. To simulate the required rescue training procedure for offshore drilling workers, the chosen team mate has to enter a model of the interior of a helicopter. It’s then submerged in a tank of water and turned. The person has to exit the enclosed space swim up to the water surface and a raft with their next clue.

Bopper is the man for this Roadblock. For the other teams, it’s Jamie for Team Un-Fed, Brendon for Big Brother, Vanessa, and JJ.

Hey, let’s check in with our dueling Fast Forward teams. Rachel & Dave have found a nice rhythm which finishes off with Dave being able to just throw the bale directly where it is needed on the stack. The big, burly gym rats are shown up by the married couple. And just like that Army of Two springs back to the front.

Dejected and covered in hay, Joey & Danny get in their cab and head to the Roadblock, while elated and also covered in hay, Rachel & Dave head to the pitstop.

The first group in the simulator has JJ, Bopper and Jamie. Even though they all successfully complete the challenge, it has the potential for disaster if a person gets even the slightest bit unnerved. It may be interesting to see if the next group of Brendon and mortal enemy Vanessa will be as supportive as these first three are. I suspect not.

The teams are now heading to a carpet shop for their next clue in old Baku.

And just like that Army of Two is checked in as number one and is rewarded with a pair of brand new 2013 cars from you-know-who. Rachel acknowledges the folly of their ways from earlier and that they are basing their strategies with that knowledge in mind. That is pretty much the only way you can do it, whether you get along or not. The race requires you to adjust and focus on what works for your team.

Back at the Roadblock, it appears there was enough time between teams because Brendon is the simulator solo, while Bad Rachel and Vanessa wait outside watching. Vanessa’s anxiety is at an all-time high as she admits that she doesn’t like closed spaces or water. So this is absolutely the worst possible challenge for her.

And despite the manufactured drama of her seeming to have troubles on the task, she only needs one attempt just like the others. As they finish up, Jersey Shore arrives and Joey steps up for them.

At the Detour, all four teams are back-to-back-to-back-to-back as they arrive at the carpet shop. This week’s Detour is Apples or Oil. For Apples, the teams have to search an old car filled with a ton of apples to find one apple with a race flag in place of its stem. For Oil, the teams have to go to a spa that specializes in crude oil baths. They have to remove all the oil from a customer with a metal shoe horn and then wash off any excess oil. Between Oil and last week’s beard task, this has to be the most touchy-feely season of the Amazing Race ever.

Of the four teams, Team Un-Fed is only one that chooses Apples; they all head to their respective challenges.

Displaying an utter lack of awareness, Vanessa & Ralph arrive at the carpet shop and begin searching the store for their clue, which is displayed in plain sight about three feet from them. I guess they assumed it was decoration.

Art & JJ are the first ones at Oil and the realization of what lies ahead baffles the boys. As JJ sums it up, “This is wicked strange.” Over at Apples, Nary & Jamie are equally overwhelmed by the thousands of apples stuffed in a car. Border Patrol is not alone at being flabbergasted that they are really scraping oil off of a hairy man. Team Justified and Big Brother have an equally dumbfounded reaction that "yes, you are really doing this."

Meanwhile at the carpet shops, the buffoons (their word…not mine) Vanessa & Ralph finally see the clue. As I heard my mother say multiple times growing up when I didn’t notice something obvious, “If it was a snake, it would’ve bit ya.” The divorcees go with Apples. They get to the Detour while Team Un-Fed is still searching.

As is usually the case, Art & JJ are the first ones done with a task and are happy to be leaving their oiled up companion for Phil. As JJ lays it on the table for us, “If you want a million dollars, scrub a man’s junk.” I am sufficiently disturbed.

Bopper & Mark are the next ones done, with Big Brother not more than a couple minutes back. Border Patrol hits the mat as team number two, just before Jersey Shore gets their Detour clue, which they opt for Apples.

Before Team Justified or Big Brother get to Phil, Nary & Jamie find their apple clue and are now in contention depending upon which Detour task is closer to the pitstop.

A footrace to the mat results in Team Justified as number three and Big Brother as team number four. I am pleased that Bopper & Mark proved me wrong. If I continue to underestimate them, then maybe they will continue to excel. Team Un-Fed is accepting of their fifth place finish but not overjoyed. I guess they thought their Detour task was the simpler one and didn’t like hearing that three other teams passed them up while they were knee deep in apples.

Vanessa & Ralph finish the Detour just before Jersey Shore arrives but are saddled with a cabbie who doesn’t know where the pitstop is. Or is this just a case of creative editing?

The two remaining teams are now in their cabs and heading to the pitstop. Vanessa & Ralph are trying their darnedest to make “Cheese-and-crackers” happen as they say it about 28 times this episode. It’s like Survivor’s Neleh and her “Oh my heck” from that show's fourth season. The divorcees are checked in as number six.

Joey & Danny are the last team to arrive and are eliminated. I am surprised because we are slated for at least one more non-elimination and there are only six teams left. That means we still have an inconsequential episode coming up.

In two weeks, the race continues and Bad Rachel and Venomous Vanessa are at each other’s throats again with supremely catty comments like, “What are you like 38? Grow up,” and “Yeah, I’m 38 and I still look better than you. Honey, get your nose done before you get your boobs done, do everyone a favor.” In case the producers haven’t done so already, I would like to offer this blanket apology to the entire continent of Africa for having to witness this childish display.

Have a good couple of weeks, folks.