Survivor: One World Recap
By David Mumpower and Kim Hollis
March 8, 2012
The men, still bitter over losing the net and canoe at the previous reward challenge, arrive at the women’s camp. Jonas smoothly states that he is from Hawaii and this makes him an expert on nets. He makes this argument. We are not joking. The women are understandably nonplussed by the "Trust me, I’m Samoan" argument. What we take from this segment is that Jonas does not have much in the diplomatic skills arsenal. Of course, he stills comes across better than Troyzan, who dismisses the entire female gender as too emotional. We hope for his sake that he’s gay because no woman is ever going to sleep with him again.
There are three choices for the reward challenge. The players may select doughnuts and beverages, pillows and blankets, or a tarp. In order to make their choice, a team has to use slingshots to obliterate panels a set distance away. There is a Connect Four element to the game in that there is not a stated number of panels required to secure victory. Instead, a team must break five consecutive panels on the five by five grid.
Before they ever knock out a panel, the men are chanting “Doughnuts!” to one another. This strikes us as a short-sighted decision, but we never have to question it since the men get destroyed…destroyed like a panel being targeted by slingshot projectiles. In between awkward attempts to talk smack by Kat (“Smell that!” means what exactly? Smell the slingshot? The wooden paneling? Jeff Probst?), the women hit many targets. In fact, the victory is such a foregone conclusion that Kat does an impossibly awkward white girl dance one round prior to their victory. If we had a gun pointed to our heads and had to choose between Kat, Alicia and Colton, we’d take the bullet. Without question, we’d take the bullet.
The reward challenge victory signifies the third consecutive victory for the once hapless women. Not bad for a bunch of netting amateurs who aren’t from Hawaii. Before madness can take hold of the other women (i.e. Alicia and Kat), Monica firmly states that they should select the tarp. There is a brief huddle before Monica’s force of will prevails. The more Monica takes charge, the better the women do. This is not a coincidence.
The men tell themselves that the outcome was luck. In fact, a couple of the men say this in front of the women. Then, they return to MaOhNoYouDidn’t and continue to describe how they are dominating. One of them has the audacity to indicate that the situation is a tie, which angers Jonas. He states that the men are ahead by one and since he is from Hawaii, we lack the island wisdom requisite to question his logic.
Between challenges, the participants have some time to kill. Leif uses this opportunity to attempt to eliminate himself from the competition. Having befriended Bill, Leif casually notes that he had been unwilling to vote against his friend at Tribal Council. This is the first Bill has heard of the Sword of Damocles hanging over his head. Bill thought he was popular. He and Leif now have something in common in that Leif used to be popular. He is not now.
Michael is walking in the water by the beach when he takes note of this conversation. Proving himself in the art of the manipulation, Michael quickly takes this news to Colton, who he has deduced is a hot-headed reactionary. Colton replies in a manner that only Colton could. “That little munchkin is about to get knocked back to Oz, I swear. Call him over here.” Colton is appalling.