Survivor: South Pacific

He Has Demons

By Jim Van Nest, Survivor Analyst

September 26, 2011

Surly only looks out for Surly.

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Over at Savaii, it's the dawning of a new era of Cochran. He tells us that his mom will be upset that he's handling a machete without supervision. Cochran tells us that Cochran will do what Cochran has to do, no matter what Cochran's mother would think. In other words, honey badger don't care. As Cochran's patting himself on the back, Ozzy has decided to go idol hunting. He starts scaling trees, like only Ozzy can. And after a little bit, he finds a weird rock hidden in a tree. When he removes the rock, he finds a little package. And there you have it...all the talk about how idols were going to be harder to find...and yet another idol is found without a clue. I mean seriously, people, are you even trying? Ozzy stashes his new idol in a new spot and heads back to camp.

We come back to Upolu again and Coach and Brandon are chatting about how cold it was last night. Brandon tells us how much he respects Coach as an honorable player he's been in the past. He says that it feels hypocritical of him to want to play honorably with Coach while hiding the fact that he's Russell's nephew. So as they're walking, he shows Coach the tattoo and Coach's jaw drops. Coach remembers how Russell told him that he's a man of God and they'll play together and then he voted his ass out. How can he believe Brandon? Brandon tells Coach that he gains nothing by letting him in on the secret and admits that it could completely screw up his game. They pray a little and then hug it out. Coach tells us that either he'll be duped...again...on Survivor, or there will be redemption for the Hantz family.


Back at Savaii, Ozzy and Keith are heading out to fish with Jim. They don't get too far from shore when strategy talk comes up. Jim wants them to be part of his "three plus two" plan. The three guys will be the core of this alliance and the two hotties, Elise and Whitney" will be the "plus two" to help them get to the merge and beyond. Keith doesn't bother to mention that he and Ozzy had already talked about this. He's happy to let Jim think this is all his idea and that he's running the show. Switch to Jim telling us about how this is all his idea and that he's running the show.

Back at Upolu, the guys and Mikayla go out to catch some fish. She tells us that she's an athlete and a tomboy. She doesn't feel that she's a girly girl, but she is a strong person and that will help her in the game. As she's talking about being taken seriously as a strong player, Brandon tells us how he calls her "Parvati" because she's using her seductive ways to get farther in the game. Ya know, seductive ways like fishing and thatching the shelter roof and being one of the strongest female players we've seen. The problem is, she's doing it her underwear. And the purple little underwear shorts things she has on makes Brandon feel weird in his private parts. And we just can't have that. He's a happily married man, so naturally, the hot half nekkid chick is sure to be pulled into his manliness like a tractor beam. With that in mind, she has to go. Her lone crime is that she looks good and makes Brandon feel funny in his shorts. I'm not playing, the way they're editing this and what he's saying makes him seem like a frickin' stalker AT BEST. He keeps talking about transgressions of the past and he can't trust her and things like that, it actually makes me a little scared for her safety on this show.

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