The Amazing Race All-Stars Recap

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

April 25, 2011


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Justin is the first to meet what passes for an Olympian in this country; he exceeds expectations by correctly stating that the country is 22 kilometers long. Yes, the COUNTRY is 22 kilometers long. You cannot even run a full marathon there. Jen is right behind Justin and asks him to confirm her guess of 22 kilometers before she reaches the judge. So, she knows she's golden when she reaches the end. Jet is third to arrive, but his number of 35 kilometers isn't even close. He is forced to turn around and come back. If only he could have eavesdropped on the conversation between Jen and Justin. Let this be a searing lesson in the politics of isolation.

Good news, everyone! The contestants who finish the first leg get to leave their current country and go to Switzerland! We can spell Switzerland! It is like an entire country dedicated to the legacy of Super Bowl champion head coach Barry Switzer!

As Jen & Kisha and Justin & Zev prepare to depart for an easily spelled country, Flight Time pulls up and asks for help. Kisha and Justin are hesitant to give away the answer to the quiz, but Jen tells them to do so. When Flight Time asks if the answer is 20, Justin corrects him to 22, saving the Globetrotter from...additional Globetrotting. Later on the train, Jen confirms that she would have not wanted to aid the cowboys. They are going to be trailing the lead teams due to losing the popularity contest. Let this be a lesson to kids everywhere. Do whatever it takes to be popular, no matter how unethical or illegal that thing is.

Whether the editing is misleading remains to be seen, but moments after Flight Time shows his cheat-y answer, Gary and Vyxsin also answer correctly. Vyxsin also shows that she has a thing for Olympians from small countries when she passionately embraces this country's most (or only?) famous skier. Personal note: we should never vacation in Liechtenstein. The locals will be right to treat us poorly.


Several minutes later (in show time), Jet answers correctly. The cowboys are off to Switzerland, but they are well behind their counterparts. Since last week was a non-elimination leg, being in last place this week is assuredly a death sentence. They have a lot of work to do if they want to remain alive in the competition.

When the first two teams arrive at Zermatt, Switzerland, their choices are Cheese and Wheeze. The former is a fondue-eating competition, marking the first time in the history of The Amazing Race or Survivor that David could handle an eating challenge. The latter requires 20 pieces of luggage from the train station to be delivered to 5 different hotels. Zev & Justin get flashbacks to a nightmare they had in a recent eating challenge yet they decide to do Cheese anyway. Kisha & Jen follow suit. These choose to quit. Quickly. Okay, David could not have done that challenge after all. The quest continues.

The next three teams reach Zermatt late in the evening. All of them choose to do the luggage. These people hate cheese in a way that would make the entire population of France said. As an aside, if you were wondering, the population of France is roughly 1,840 times as large as Liechtenstein. With this realization, we are tempted to declare our neighborhood a sovereign country. This way, we can participate in the Olympics, thereby avoiding the cost for tickets. Hey, if Homer and Marge Simpson can Curl at an Olympic level, so can we.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5



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