Classic Movie Review: You Only Live Twice

By Josh Spiegel

November 29, 2010

Love me, love my kitty.

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We’re just now recently reeling from the news that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is going to be given the old reboot in Hollywood, but without any help from Joss Whedon. Reboots in general seem a bit troubling, even if they’ve worked quite well in two specific cases, one of which is Batman and one of which...more in a bit. Obviously, the Batman reboot didn’t involve the character’s creator, mostly because he was dead, but there’s some serious infringement - to fans of Buffy and of Joss Whedon - by a studio unwilling to even consider asking the person who created the whole story to help out in redoing it. But some characters and franchises have endured every possible iteration. Again, Batman has survived various bumps in the road, from the kitsch of the 1960s to the camp of the late-1990s. But James Bond endures all.

Even now, with MGM, the studio that has had its hand in every one of the 22 James Bond films that have been released over nearly 50 years, in general disarray, there are still strong hopes for the 23rd entry in the series. Before MGM had its financial troubles, names abounded. Of course, Daniel Craig would be back as the famed British spy for his third installment. Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes was going to be brought in as a consultant, but many assumed he’d take the mantle of director. Oscar-nominated screenwriter Peter Morgan was taking a crack at the script for the film. These two men may not seem like likely candidates to helm and write a James Bond movie, but why not? Keeping the character and franchise fresh worked for Casino Royale, so it could easily bear fruit for a new movie. Alas, it may not happen, at least not that way.




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Over the past few months, out of sheer curiosity, I’ve been watching the James Bond film franchise from the beginning. I say curiosity, because, yes, friends, I’d never seen a James Bond movie pre-Goldeneye, which was the first James Bond movie I was actively aware of, as it came out when I was only 11, a ripe age to watch a big action blockbuster. Part of the reason I’d never watched the older films was because they seemed like relics. Some of the names sounded vaguely cool - Thunderball, Moonraker, Goldfinger - but also kind of ridiculous. I was able to glean from the Austin Powers trilogy that Mike Myers was making fun of 007, but didn’t even need to pick up on the specific references to laugh at the silliness of a lothario bedding every woman he came in contact with.

Watching the old movies makes the first Austin Powers film seem like one of the sharpest comedies in years (recently, I ended up watching that movie for the first time in a long time). It’s not just the supervillain who strokes a white cat, it’s the sexual politics of the era. I’m not saying that a guy as charismatic and handsome (even with a very, very obvious toupee) as Sean Connery wouldn’t be able to get a girl or two, but by the time You Only Live Twice opened (the fifth Bond film), everyone seems to just think, “Well, I guess this is the part where he sleeps with the hot girl, right?” James Bond movies should be exciting, but this one, especially, is a dry, slow-moving affair that seems purposely disinterested in the action sequences and debonair panache with which the spy is supposed to hold himself.


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