Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Recap

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

May 13, 2010

Rupert is just as surprised that he cut a deal with Russell as the rest of us.

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The reward involves throwing coconuts into a blow hole/geyser, then watching it get shot a couple hundred feet into the air. Of course, they have a [insert sponsor here] smart phone to film and photograph the whole thing. Parvati even invokes them by name during a confessional. Gross.

When we return from the commercial break, Rupert loses his damn mind. Every season, we seem to have one player around this time who forgets that Survivor is a game of politics. Erratic and annoying behavior is never smart, but when there's only a half a dozen people who can possibly be voted off, nobody should call unwanted attention to themselves by, oh, say, carving wood, throwing boulders around, and anything else that stops Survivors from sleeping. You know his behavior is especially troublesome because he gets his own goofy theme music. Rupert may have survived last week, but we're all of a sudden not liking his chances tonight. Treat Survivor like a library, dude.

Probst sighting! The Immunity Challenge involves balance and concentration once again. Ever since the merge, Survivor's challenges have been catering to the ballerinas. We think it's a clever way for Probst to eliminate Colby without saying so. Each contestant must balance two poles on top of their hands. To keep the boards aloft, they must use another horizontal board up above them for leverage. Any lapse in focus will likely cause a loss.


Lo and behold, 17 seconds into the challenge, Colby is out. We don't mean to point fingers, but Colby has clearly lost his stamina since his first go round. We know this happens to men as they get older, but come on! Less than 30 seconds later, Sandra is eliminated. This is our weekly reminder not to worry. She's saving it all up for the final Immunity Challenge.

ELR hangs on a respectable amount of time prior to his elimination. Then, to our surprise, Jerri loses her poles, leaving only Rupert and Parvati for the second time in three challenges. As was the case in the previous competition, Rupert demonstrates a lot of valor, but the battle is too skewed toward someone with better natural balance. To Evil Loser Russell's chagrin, Parvati has immunity. He scoffs at Rupert in disgust. How dare Rupert only do quite a bit better than Russell?

Remember what we've been saying the past few weeks about how ELR only has one move? Well, he tries it on Sandra and it doesn't work out very well. Given his success last week with Jerri, it's unsurprising that Evil Loser Russell would attempt to berate another woman into voting with him. Unlike last time, ELR meets with resistance. He walks over to Sandra, puts on his black hat, and in his best spaghetti western villain voice, he asks if she is with him or against him. Immediately, Sandra replies, "I'm against you, Russell." (The 'Evil Loser' portion of his name is implied by her tone of voice.) As is usually the case, ELR uses this as an opportunity to dial up his aggression in a attempt to change the results. All this earns him is Parvati's mockery.

Continued:       1       2       3       4



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