The Amazing Race Recap

You're Like Jason Bourne, Right?

By Daron Aldridge

April 6, 2010

The Phillies won the World Series with him and lost it without him. I'm just saying.

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It's pretty amusing to me that the cowboys were spared elimination at a pitstop in the Indian Ocean. That's the good news. I guess "indians" aren't all bad for cowboys, despite what our childhood games may tell us.

The not-so-good news is that Jet and Cord will have to face a Speed Bump. After the abysmal performance last week with two time-wasting errors, they need to just thank their "oh my gravy" they are still in the race. They need to truly cowboy up this leg. That will be my last cowboy pun for this week.

After being reminded that 7Up gave Coach Steve and daughter Allie a prize for first place, we pick up with them leaving first for Penang, Malaysia and the ominous sounding Snake Temple. Since the Seychelles are remote, all the teams will be on the ferry together, which leaves at 2 a.m., AND the same flight to Penang. That's bummer for Steve and Allie but quite fortuitous for Jet and Cord. As long as the Speed Bump doesn't bring them to a screeching halt, the cowboys are at least somewhat level at this point. So let's not worry about the order they leave in because it is irrelevant.

Oh yeah, we are reminded that the last absent-minded leg also resulted in Steve and Allie leaving their backpacks at the Detour. They are left with a pouch with their money and travel documents and the clothes on their back. It's a good thing that Malaysia is sweltering hot. At least, they score some plastic bags from the hotel to carry whatever they scrounge up.

During the downtime hanging out at the dock, Team Super Fuzz say they like the Pride of South Carolina because they are good kids and apparently, as we learned on the mat last week, they share a hatred for lesbians Carol and Brandy, specifically Carol. Both are on a mission of U-Turning Carol and Brandy if given the chance. At least Michael admits they only have a problem with the girls because he views them as a big threat on the race.

Caite even dubs Michael and Louie "The Daddies". I am not sure what to make of this new nickname. Regardless of that, Caite resurrects her fabulously sparkly headband. This headband is her homage to Olivia Newton-John, Sonya from Mortal Kombat or American Gladiator's Lace. You decide, but I am going with Olivia.


Out of generosity comes one of the most unsettling acts ever on the Amazing Race. Knowing their clothes deficiency, Michael offers Steve items, including UNDERWEAR. To quote Seinfeld, "Your boys should stay in their neighborhood." Aside from this unsettling imagery, Steve gives us what would be a much better episode title, "Hard man to fill his pants but I'll do the best I can." By sidestepping this one and Michael's previous one about spotting crack in someone's butt, the producers are letting down my juvenile side.

After a 21-hour flight, the teams land and dash to the taxis with only a few minutes separating them. Dan and Jordan win the taxi lottery as their driver has no problem with ignoring speed limits and traffic laws. He zooms past all the teams and puts the brothers in first. As expected, the clue box is covered in snakes at the Snake Temple. At this point, I would be hanging out there until either all the snakes left or a kindly local came by that was willing to retrieve the clue. I do not do all...ever. In fact, it's ooging me out just thinking about them.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5



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