Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Recap
Tonight, We Make Our Move
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
March 5, 2010
Previously on Survivor, an immunity challenge was presented that - let's say this as politely as possible - gave a slight advantage to the physically superior team, the Heroes. We joked about this before the premiere, but the joke stopped being funny after a couple of episodes. To date, this season has played out very much like a wrestling feud between Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. You have the physically and morally superior good guys battling the nefarious, clever villains. It's been brawn versus brains with the masterminds taking two of the first three wins with the third one being so fixed that it felt like Probst saying, "It's time for this challenge, which we have named Heroes Win." Shockingly, the Heroes won.
This led to the dismissal of social misfit Randy, who showed a tremendous amount of class and grace during his exit when he angrily threw his tribal buff into the fire. We sincerely hope that this game of attempts to one-up previously eliminated contestants continues throughout the season. In such an eventuality, the last person voted off would have to actually jump into the fire to outdo the others. We theoretically name this person Evil Loser Russell for now since his fate of bathing in flames throughout eternity is a foregone conclusion. It won't happen on Survivor, however, since he's not a savvy enough player to go that far in the game.
Night Eight at Camp Villainy examines the contemplative mood of Coach as he debates whether he was unfairly assailed by Sandra. While venting his frustration to Tyson, Coach offers up this classic bit of self-delusion: "I did noble things out here and I look ignoble." He's a human hallucinogen. Our favorite part of this is when he accuses Sandra of being deceitful. Can you imagine someone lying about themselves on a nationally televised show like that, Coach?
The ninth morning at Legion of Doom headquarters finds Coach still grousing about the incursion against his honor. He goes for a walk while Tyson informs the others that his ally was crying the night before and is contemplating quitting from the game. As always, Boston Rob hits the crux of this, stating: "I don't know. That's not much of a coach if you ask me." He then takes Coach aside and they have a heart to heart complete with fist bump. Rob takes this opportunity to tighten his control over the tribe by assuring Coach that he is "on the inside", which the self-professed Dragon Slayer readily believes. For his part, Rob is hearing angels sing at the thought of being able to play Coach for a patsy for the body of the game.
With Coach having provided the comic relief portion of the show, complete with him quoting Martin Luther King Jr. then comparing himself to King Arthur, we can move on to Tree Mail. And this week's Tree Mail is a giant ad for Sears. Seriously, it's right there on the front of the book, which happens to be a catalog of sorts for people trapped on island that somehow allows Sears delivery from UPS or FedEx or somebody. It's best not to sweat the details on this. Just go buy something from Sears, people.