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Survivor: Samoa

Tastes Like Chicken

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

November 14, 2009

Here they go voting off the pretty ones again.

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Not that she has to, of course. The next segment shows Evil Loser Russell (maybe we should drop his middle name for a little while) searching for the idol back at camp. Impressively, he thinks about all of the places that would make sense to hide it (you have to be able to clue people into its location). He locates it under a bridge, and gloats about his cleverness. This is irritating, but justified.

Naturally, Evil Russell needs someone to admire his genius (other than himself). Every con needs a mark, after all, and his is Shambo. Once again, he whips it out, and she stares lustily. (We mean the idol, you pervs.) Shambo tells the camera that she has been in an alliance with Foa Foa for several days. This is obvious by the way she for Jaison at the last Tribal Council. In her defense, she would have voted for Derek if she could have figured out who that was. Anyway, she does seem to be aligned with Evil Russell if for no other reason than to lop the head off of Laura. We think/hope she means this figuratively, but ratings will be through the roof if she's taking a more literal interpretation. Their stated back-up plan is that if Laura wins immunity, they will eliminate one of her evil henchmen (Kelly). So, if recent history holds true, those two appear to be 100% safe this week. The best place to be is in Foa Foa's crosshairs, unless you're an idiot like Erik.

Probst returns! Today's immunity challenge has each contestant tossing out a hook on a rope to try to reel in two bags of puzzle pieces. The first three to do so will move on to the final portion of the challenge, which is a puzzle. There are different strategies employed, with some people trying to reach the more distant bag first, while others grab the short one. Dr. Mick is first to finish (and rather easily, too). He's thrilled to see that the second person to the final will be...Shambo. We're pretty confident that there's no one you'd rather be up against in a puzzle challenge, especially if you're a doctor.




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The final spot comes down to a race between the duo engaged in a blood feud, Laura and Evil Russell. At one point it looked like they had become best friends, but they've now degraded to the point where Evil Russell takes time out from retrieving the final bag to smugly taunt her. Karma strikes quickly (the rat gods are angry today, my friends) as his hook is untethered from his final bag just before it crosses the finish line. Laura pulls with all her might and manages to eke out the win. We feel pretty comfortable in giving Evil Loser Russell his middle name again.

We know that a certain segment of Survivor fans are convinced that Evil Loser Russell is a savant at the game, but we just don't see it. For every good play he makes such as finding a hidden immunity idol sans clue, he bungles like this, throwing away a chance at immunity this round simply because he had to gloat to a girl that she couldn't beat him. Hey, ELR, guess what? While you were gloating, she beat you. Idiot.


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